Single Jewish Female Seeks Stress Relief
Monday July 14, 2008
The economic scene must be especially slow for The Wall Street Journal to take an interest in the dating habits of Orthodox Jewish Women, as it did this weekend. In an article entitled, Single Jewish Female Seeks Stress Relief, Tamar...
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About Windows & Doors
Author, radio and TV talk show host, and President of CLAL-The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership, Brad Hirschfield is the author of You Don’t Have To Be Wrong For Me To Be Right: Finding Faith Without Fanaticism. Listed as one of the nation’s 50 most influential rabbis in Newsweek, and a regular commentator on Court TV, he is the creator of the popular series, Building Bridges, airing on Bridges TV, and the co-host of the weekly radio show, Hirschfield and Kula. More About Brad
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I get the Wall Street Journal and read that article sometime over the weekend. They regularly publish stories dealing with religon, sometimes from a personal perspective. This one did, however, seem personal to the point of making me squirm for the writer.
I felt a bit angry when I read the story, both for the author and AT her. (I don't mean her personally, but "her" as in all those who participate in this exploitation and allow it to continue.) These obviously intelligent, educated young women need to take control of their lives and opt out. DON'T sign up with a matchmaker and DON'T allow others to take away your power. Use your education,find work you love and find a young man who deserves YOU. Further, the parents of these daughters should place as much value on them as they obviously do on their spoiled, overly-entitled sons.
I am Jewish, but not orthodox, and was raised in secular society, so I realize it is easier for me to ignore the rules and traditions in which these young women have been steeped. Further, I am always angered at the way women are so often exploited in the name of religon. Women need to support each other, and the mothers of the daughters (and the sons) should work to see that the young women in their communities are treated with the respect they deserve.
A M E N
An important thing religious daughters should teach them is that there are other fish in the sea. The spectrum of male companions spreads way further than the very limited group of Orthodox males.
An equally important thing for a woman is being economically independent. Here again self reliance allows a woman to chose from a bigger spectrum of possible companions.
The sad thing about this article is the inbred nature of the author. She can't and won't contemplate the possibility that she might be happy with a spouse who is not based on the exact template hard coded into her brain from day zero.
"The sad thing about this article is the inbred nature of the author. She can't and won't contemplate the possibility that she might be happy with a spouse who is not based on the exact template hard coded into her brain from day zero."
Sorry, Gloria, your premise is faulty. Let us take it to the logical extreme and use different faiths. Suppose the young woman was raised as a strict Southern Baptist. What are the chances she would be happy with a rock'n rolling, pot smoking, hard drinking Episcopalian? (My apologies to the Episcopals and Southern Baptists, no slurs intended.) Individuals have relationship comfort zones based on their personal moral, ethical and religious codes. To suggest that this young woman should turn her back on her personal beliefs in order to find pleasure and/or a mate, I think is wrong. In essence it denigrates the young woman's personal beliefs.
Its should be a personal (ref) as to how a man and a woman feel about each other.After all we are all human.
"An equally important thing for a woman is being economically independent. Here again self reliance allows a woman to chose from a bigger spectrum of possible companions."
Unfortunately another faulty premise Giora. Since american women tend to "marry up" economically, the more economic independance she has, the fewer her selection of men will be. This is actually a very common problem among women who chose a career over a family. Also, since Men would rather have a Feminine wife than a Feminist one, her economic independance could raise red flags and help keep Men away. This is not to say she 'must' be an economic idiot, or can't be a woman of accomplishment; in this case, like many others, it's less what she does, than to what degree and (im)balance she takes it.
Personally I advocate teshuvah to Torah polygamy as a means of solving the "few good men, many women" problem. (Malachi 3:24) Personally I've never been a "one woman man" and don't personally comprehend the concept of "halves" but "soulmates".
One can't honestly call a system based on HaShem's perfect Torah traditional if one alters it's perfect and traditional nature. I read a post on this site once that mentioned it's (at least) not unheard of it NYC for polygamous and levirite marriages to occur. The Orthodox even have the "race card" to play; the FLDS never had it so good.
Personally I find it very odd that sleeping around and (possibly) having children with multiple women is acceptable (in society, and 'perhaps' less overtly among Orthodox, ref prostitution and sex slavery in Israel today and america in the 1800's), yet for someone like me who would be Man enough to take responsibility for them rather than "Find em and Forget em", I'm often considered crazy at best, or demonized for it.
Shalom
Y'simeich Elokim k'Sarah, Rivkah, Bilhah, v'Zilpah
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