Stuff Jewish People Like
Tuesday July 22, 2008
Categories: Judaism, Pop Culture
A friend forwarded me the following link: www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com. It got me thinking about a parallel site which could be stuffjewishpeoplelike.com, and what lists and descriptions people might put there. To get you started, I am including some of the suggestions...
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About Windows & Doors
Author, radio and TV talk show host, and President of CLAL-The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership, Brad Hirschfield is the author of You Don’t Have To Be Wrong For Me To Be Right: Finding Faith Without Fanaticism. Listed as one of the nation’s 50 most influential rabbis in Newsweek, and a regular commentator on Court TV, he is the creator of the popular series, Building Bridges, airing on Bridges TV, and the co-host of the weekly radio show, Hirschfield and Kula. More About Brad
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I got the book, pretty accurate. He does a good job deciphering the not so complicated soul of limousine liberals in their interactions with the world.
Some parts are indirectly referring to Jews yet he is sophisticated enough to elude to it implicitly. The most is directed toward the ridiculous thought process of left leaning liberals or what many of us would have become should we have decided to make a career out of academia.
Come on Brad, you failed to mention the one thing which gives Jews the biggest boner ever: The I.D.F
Diaspora Jewish man's biggest desire is to wear the khaki uniform of an army who lost all wars since 1967. It is a cross disciplinary pathology fueled by the holocaust, low self esteem and the will to do to others what history had done to you.
Which leads us to the second thing diaspora Jews love: The 1967 war. The ultimate climatic Jewish experience towering above everything regardless of the catastrophic results Israel still struggle with (2000000 Palestinians) 1967 was such a memorable and dominant climax that ever since Israel had many failed attempts to do a repeat for old times sake (all failed)
First of all, you have some pretty witty friends.
I would add:
1. Any world leader, no matter how insignificant (in fact, the poorer and more 'third world' the better), paying attention to Israel.
2. Complaining about the New York Times
3. Most of the items on the "Stuff white people like" blog -- because white people like them.
4. "Safe" black people
The more religious a Jew is the more he loves right wing politicians and forceful solutions. Lord knows that if Hitler wasn't antisemitic Jews would have loved him. Religious Jews love feeling they are the good guys and are on the good side of the strong brother (America) hence AIPAC. They love trivia of useless historical facts about Arab/Russian/German pogroms yet completely ignoring the actions taken by the Israelis.
Oh religious Jews loooove the rule of law when it comes to enforcing it on others and never on their pet project - the settlements.
The problem with the "rule of law" as a value is that it's always open to the question: "is this a valid law in the first place?" It's easy to subvert that supposedly neutral value by picking and choosing which laws deserve to rule. The trick is to be neutral in deciding which laws are valid too -- for example, if one is going to criticize Iran for noncompliance with UN resolutions, one must be willing to abide by other UN resolutions as well.
Jews love moral supremacy. Being the ultimate victim who is in such dire straits nobody can question his actions ever since. Self victimization is viewed by Jews as the ultimate ever lasting blank check. Jews need that evil single faced voodoo doll named Hitler/Arafat/Haman/Stalin/Nasralla. In absence of it Jews feel confused and unsure of their position in the world.
Pathetically American Jews achieved so much yet still had to contend with the blacks for the ultimate victim position and hence their problematic relationship with Barak Obama.
Jews love any person who gives them love. After 2000 years of being on the bottom of the totem poll in diaspora Jews have an overwhelming need for being loved by non Jews.
Non Jews who are shrewed enough to decipher this found they can easily take advantage of this. For example Anuar Sadat got the entire Sinai peninsula (way more than he bargained for) for a trip in his plane to Jerusalem.
Other non Jews who failed to understand this pathology get the cold shoulder from Jews regardless of facts and reality on the ground (See Jimmy Carter and James Baker)
Jewish and particularly Israeli film makers love film festivals in Germany. The guilt card is so strong a Jewish film maker will always walk out with some award regardless of the artistic value of his movie.
Israelis love being A La International. They will go through great effort to purchase foreign labels and attain a non Israeli image.
Israelis hate being associated with their neighborhood (did we say denial) regardless of the very obvious similarities. Its a well known phenomenon that the more an Israeli behaves and looks like an Arab the more he hates Arabs.
American Jewish man love Israeli girls. They are considered the sweetest fruit and a hard nut to crack. Due to dark skin, military service, Kibbutz Israeli girls are not suffering from being on the wrong side of Shikse Appeal - they are considered exotic.
Religious Jewish males love gadgets. In general the more primitive the male is the more he likes gadgets who he thinks make him look sophisticated.
Such anger from Giora! Such avid certainty! To quote the blog leader, does everyone have to be wrong for you to be right?
This is what jews like, what blacks like, what people like- don't piss them off purposefully, act respectfully and accordingly. Yup, Sadat got Sinai because he can to the Knesset, but that simple airflight is what keeps the Golan in Israel! Hey Assad, I will pay for the round trip ticket to Tel Aviv, and you go home with beach front property to the Sea of Galilee. But no; and somehow this is the JEWS fault?!?!?!? Let me guess- in 6 months, when Palestinian construction workers are unemplyed because of the TWO acts in the last 3 weeks, will it be Israeli construction manager's fault, OR THEIR OWN?????
While I generally agree w/ Giora, I would question one thing: How does victimhood form the basis for moral superiority. Acting morally, which Jews do less and less these days, ought to be the sole determinant of a claim to superiority. Being a victim makes one, well, a victim. No more, no less.
Victims believe society owes them something based on some historical precedence like the German government monetary compensation to Holocaust survivors or the Casino licenses given to Indian tribes in the US. The victimhood is viewed as an IOU. Unfortunately in most cases this IOU can't be cashed.
Answer for chinkjunior:
I'm just having a good time yet it seems the anger comes from your side.
The psychological effect of Sadat visit was discussed in length in the Israeli papers who admitted that is exactly what made it impossible to Asad to get the Golan - his reluctance to go to Jerusalem.
Part of our growing up process as an ethnic group is being able to openly discuss our shortcoming and humor does help (For example movies like Zohan).
I'm an Israeli and now living in the US I know the Jewish crowd quite well, but no I don't pretend to know the rest. As per the last two attacks in Jerusalem, no it won't be the Israeli fault yet the shooting of a rubber bullet to the leg of a shackled Palestinian prisoner is. Is it possible that for this guy seeing such a picture on TV was a motivating factor?
Giora, no anger, just questioning. We actually agree on Sadat, and confused why pressure should be on Israel for the Golan, as opposed to Assad.
I think that jews laugh at themselves more than most ethnic groups. Probably a combination of societal (read:financial) success and control of hollywood.
Yes, the ramifications of the recent soldier incident will be seen in the coming months and years. Appropriate punishment should be meted to those who deserve.
Based on the valuable input from Chinkjunior here is some stuff gentiles love about Jews:
The belief that Jews are good with money.
The belief that Jews are good husbands.
The belief that Jews have some magical power on world's politic.
The belief that Jews are intellectuals.
I don't know if any of the above is true or not yet the end result is Jews are put by gentiles on a pedestal.
I think in most cases it happens that Jews who could not live of the land had to develop other skills - commerce, banking, etc. Yet the belief that Jewish blood carries some extra intellectual value isn't substantiated by facts.
A black real estate investor was ecstatic to know a gay Jewish couple moved in front of his development - he viewed it as the seal of approval from the whitest people ever.
Chinkjunior:
What you hardliners refuse to acknowledge is that the stalemate between tne Jews and the Palestinians is all the excuse the rest of the Arab world needs to maintain the status quo vis-a-vis Israel. Sadat's act was world-changing precisely because he was willing to overlook the Palestinians and make a deal despite them. And what a deal: ALL of Sinai to Egypt and ALL of Gaza to the Jews. The disease and the cure in one pill!
But now, the conflict is able to keep Asad from stepping on the plane, and the Arabs and much of the world backs him. What is needed is to call his bluff: Make a deal with the Palestinians then see what his excuse he has for refusing to make the flight.
It is true- just like somehow kosher meat is "better" for you intrinsically than the smae exact cut, but not kosher.
When Arafat said no to Clinton and Barak in 2000, he was worried about the "Arab Street", not his own consitutency, who would today have had an autonomous Palestinian state with nearly half of territorial jerusalem as it's capital. In that way, it's all a circle-Palestinian leaders refuse to compromise what's in their own best interests because the Arab world wants a continuation of hostilities. So the same conflict that existed with Sadat (who still went on that plane) keeps Assad off the plane? Just another coward playing to the Arab street. Get me a leader (Hussein, Sadat) who is willing to walk on Israeli soil, then you have a partner. Until then, why call the bluff.
What you are saying is: without a flight to Jerusalem (the glove) there will be no peace deal (the love). You actually concertize my earlier claim that Jews have this need to be loved by the goyim. The good old pathetic pathological need to be loved.
Is it possible that even without the hug from some gentile the economic and security interest of Israel are such that a cold peace deal is better than the current status quo? Is it possible that the first question to be asked is what are Israel's goals instead of "Oh my god I hope my neighbor goy be nice to me little frightened Shtetel Jew?" Is it possible that Jimmy Carter is the best thing that ever happened to Israel and yet Jews worldwide hate him because he didn't give us all a hug and kiss?
Not loved; standard diplomatic discussion. Does he want to meet in Geneva? Paris? London, where he went to medical school? No: he justs wants the Golan, wants Israel to beg him to take it.
Interesting argument about cold peace. I would imagine that cold peace was what Sharon thought he was getting by leaving Gaza. Alas, it hasnt turned out that way.
Carter? Come now. He went to Israel in April to yell to the world that Israel isn't negotiating with Hamas and Syria, while those 2 things are going on surreptitiosly. Guy is simply yesterday's news, and should hang out with the likes of Kissinger in the "Foreign Policy Gone Bad" club.
Last time I checked Carter was the guy who got a peace accord signed between Israel and Egypt. I don't care if he loves Israel, lets allow the results to speak for themselves.
While I do think Sharon should have given Gaza to Abu Mazen instead of just pulling out Israel is in better shape not having to secure the settlers of Gush Katif.
For each of these Arab leaders talking to Israel is dangerous due to how Sadat died. Is it so difficult to respect that?
Truthfully, I ammore interested in all your nicknames and trying to see if I can figure out who (or whom - and who/mever answers that - I will then know your nickname Ahem...)I know here.
Well being that I am married to one of you here who suggested I read this you have all strayed from the original question and have taken this away from humor and moved into some tangential field.
Man you guys ARE angry... relax... and here are some thing Jew love
- self hatred
- knowing the BEST doctors
- being the best doctor, or thinking that you are one
- and btw, young american jewish girls love IDF soldiers (I have dual citizenship so I do not fall into this category)
Go on and talk your politics while I enjoy the rays and fun i9n the land that you all love to debate about. Another thing Jews love
- debating about Israeli politics and thinking that it will actually make a difference.
Layla Tov!
Jimmy got the deal PRECISELY because Sadat made the flight. If no flight, then no Jimmy, no Nobel Peace Prize, no ppost-presidential career of any significance.
YOu may believe they are in better shape. Not so certain that the citizens of Sderot (and soon Ashkelon)as well as Mr Shalit will agree with you. Ultimate NIMBY!
Woa with the Sadat analogy- I can always pull out a "Rabin analogy." Neither is a happy scenario, both need to be condemned, but neither should deter appropriate diplomatic conlusions.
Could it be that the young American Jewish girls love the I.D.F soldiers by projecting from the length of the gun barrel to what they hope is down there?
FYI: Jewish chicks used to dig doctors till doctors stopped making the mega mula.
Homerun!!!!
Giora, you sure are an angry chick. How do you walk upright with those major chips on your shoulders? Why don't you stick to the topic of the articles and leaving your irrelvant and misplaced ranting and raving where it more propery belongs, like on the doors of the nearest gas station bathroom walls?
sorry, should read: "leave your irrelvant and misplaced ranting and raving where they more properly belong..."
same sentiment, more properly expressed.
honestly, people like you who live to bash someone as you do (Jews, Israel) and then have the nerve to blame them and accuse them of some sense of false victimhood... The next time you get on a soapbox, put it in front of the mirror first.
Stuff Jews like:
People with integrity.
Honest people.
Those who are not bullsh*tters.
Those who are not sanctimonious and don't try to convert us or tell us how much they "respect" Judaism.
Bagels with lox and cream cheese (and sometimes onion and tomato).
Beef barley soup.
Good deli.
Pumpernickel bread.
Family. (with certain exceptions...)
Commitment.
Education.
Taking responsibility for one's own actions.
At the risk of getting boring, I'll stop here...
eastcoastlady:
Mirror mirror on the wall...
Hard to face reality, yes lets talk about barley soup. Aren't people with integrity, honest people and those who are not bullsh*tters the same people (at a risk of being redundant).
Aren't people with integrity, honest people and those who are not bullsh*tters the same people (at a risk of being redundant).
Perhaps there is overlap. So what?
Acting morally, which Jews do less and less these days, ought to be the sole determinant of a claim to superiority.
Do you mean Israeli Jews?
American Jews?
British Jews?
Or, as your sentence reads, ALL Jews?
Jews love moral supremacy. Being the ultimate victim who is in such dire straits nobody can question his actions ever since. Self victimization is viewed by Jews as the ultimate ever lasting blank check. Jews need that evil single faced voodoo doll named Hitler/Arafat/Haman/Stalin/Nasralla. In absence of it Jews feel confused and unsure of their position in the world.
Every Jew in the Western world lost family - lots of family - in the Shoah. The memory of every precious Jewish soul is holy and must be preserved. Every possible action to prevent our babies and children from winding up in ovens must be taken. Never again - exactly.
You wouldn't understand. I know, I know, you say you're Israeli, but I don't buy that you're a Jew.
Scott,
You sound like a person who's heart is in the right place, I respect that. Fact is I'm both and Israeli and a Jew. Born and educated in Israel ,served 3 years in the Israli army and finished college there.
Love has many forms and the one Israel needs now is tough love. Sometimes your best friend is the one breaking the walls of denial and telling you what you need to hear instead of what you want to hear. A while ago there was a great history channel documentary on tv where a known historion said: "Protecting everything is protecting nothing" (Sun Tzu). Israel is streached too thin attempting to bite more than it can swallow. To me never again also means having Israel revert back to borders which it can control and protect. Believe it or not we are on the same side.
Giora
Do you seriously think we love being exiled, anilated, and shunned from modern society. Do you really think we like being the victim in everything? For the love of G-d, figure it out!!
If you really want to insult us, Passover Cereal, learn more about who we are and what we believe or else you just sound stupid.
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