Are You There God? Tisha B'Av Asks and Answers

So how does it help to tell people that unjustified hatred is a bad thing? We all say that's right, that baseless hatred is terrible, but we all think that it's somebody else's problem!

Isn't that the truth? It even becomes obvious in relationships as ostensibly casual as office relations, where a simple phrase can be misiterpreted and suddenly the office atmosphere turns to ice because of one person's indulgence in self-righteousness.

I wonder if at the end of the day, both Tisha B'Av and in the larger sense, we dared to love as freely as we hate, re-connect with the assuredness we bring to each act of disconnection, and assert the possibility of relationship as baselessly as we have felt it stripped away, we might not find much more of what we seek and many more of those we feel we have lost. I think we all know the answer.

This is a beautiful thought, though in reality, probably a lofty goal. Daring to love as freely as we hate is not so easy to do, though it should be. Maybe it's difficult in part due to a lack of self-esteem; the saying goes one has to love oneself to love others. Or maybe it's due in part to selfishness - to love another, one should be willing to sometimes put someone else first.

Sometimes it takes a lot of pain to reconnect, or one has to feel the pain of being disconnected to try again. Sometimes it's scary and emotionally risky to reach out, because others aren't willing to stretch as much as the one who first reaches out.

I can't pretend to be any kind of armchair psychologist. I just wonder if we're wired to love selflessly, even if Abraham gave us that gift of chesed.

It's a great wish, though.

The Talmud teaches that the Second Temple was destroyed because of baseless hatred between people.

What then are the reasons for recent tragedies such as the Shoah or 9/11?

Do we also blame the victims? Can we assign a moral failure to these recent events?

Perhaps “modern” thinking would not allow us to blame the victims for recent tragedies. But then “modern” thinking might also question the idea of blaming the victims for ancient tragedies.

I have been told we should consider this a day of thinking of everything Jews have lost over the years-not the original reason alone-and what we as individuals have lost over the years and if any of it was our doing ask for forgiveness from those we can, those who have passed and G-d-in a different way then we might on Yom Kippur. It is specially important to forgive those who unthinkly have hurt us as well. All holidays and tragedies are celebrated together AND as individuals.

One need not blame anyone other then those who need the blame rightfully. At one time evidently people were not sophisticated to know that this is what you do so needed reminding every once in a while.