Some months ago I had the pleasure to meet a documentary film maker who is also an Evangelical Christian. Actually, those two facets of his identity are pretty closely related, at least right now, as he is working on a doc about the historical accuracy of the Exodus story. But the historicity of those stories and whether or not it matters if they “really happened”, is for another time. Today is about the questions that he posed to me in a recent letter, questions about the meaning and purpose of life, and how we decide what is right. Here is some of what he wrote:
Rabbi Brad – I struggle to write and to make clear arguments but if you would have the patience with me I would like to take portions that I have read from your book (You Don’t Have To Be Wrong For Me To Be Right) and ask you questions and continue a healthy dialogue.
Page 9: “When faith simplifies things that need to remain complex, instead of giving us strength to live with complexity, when it gives answers where none exist, instead of helping us appreciate the sacredness of living with questions, when it offers certainty when there needs to be doubt, and when it tells us that we have arrived when we should still be searching — then there is a problem with faith.” This is really good stuff. I would like to prayerfully take thoughts and ideas and keep asking the questions concerning faith and the real world.
I’ll wrap it up with this idea, for whatever reason I think of “Sex in the City”. I think its popularity confirms that many people seek physical pleasure over spiritual connection or faith. It’s not that they need to be separate but in certain situations according to the bible there are certain accountabilities that give instruction to sexual relationships. In trying to have it so that one can be sexually active some would say this is wrong others would say this not wrong but right. Do people decide? I remember reading in scripture there was a time, “When everyone did what was right in their own eyes” or has this been decided by G-d and it does matter? Will there be consequences?
My response:

Hi ____,
Your closing questions are great ones. I will try and provide a brief answer now, and encourage you to be in touch for a longer conversation.
So here’s the bottom line for me: decisions based on “what is right in our own eyes”, are always less than ideal. But simply invoking God or His word, which is always an interpretation no matter how literally the words appear, does not get us off that hook. In fact, that is what I mean by living with questions, doubt and ambiguity — not at the expense of faith, but as a compliment to it, or as an expression of it. Because actually, all of those doubts, questions, etc. are really expressions of the modesty and humility which must be a part of any genuine faith.
Does that mean that we give ourselves over to post-modern paralyses, unable to make a firm commitment to anything, anyone, or any limits? Of course not! It means that we live with just enough of those questions to keep our hearts open to those with different interpretations, and our minds open to that which we can learn from those with whom we disagree.
For example, I do not think that I will ever be a Christian, but I know that there is wisdom found in a life which acknowledges Jesus Christ. While I can not live that truth, I can accept that there are truths within that faith which you live every day, and I am grateful that you live them. I also hope that others will see me and my faith decisions in a similar light.
Whether it’s Sex in the City, or the fact that you and I might disagree about how to live the sexual lessons of Leviticus (I am guessing that, like most Christians, and most Jews for that matter, you don’t observe the laws of monthly immersion in a mikveh, ritual bath), it does not mean that one of us has stopped caring about those words. They do however speak to us in different ways.
So, we need to be careful about asserting that we are doing “what God wants” and not what we want. The God in whom I believe, is infinite and therefore has no desires, in the usual sense of that word. God may have a will for us to follow, but it may be different for different people, just as a parent may want different things for their different children. And because He is infinite, His will manifests itself in many different ways and works through multiple traditions. We however are finite, so we do our best to live one of them.
This means that if we are doing really well, we have the opportunity to become masters of one part of God’s will, and need to leave mastery of other parts to others. Before an infinite God, we should probably think more about both/and than either/or.
Will there be consequences to our decisions, you ask. I believe that there always are. But since I also believe that they come from God, I leave that to Him.
I hope that this is helpful and that this is the beginning of a wonderful conversation.
Peace,
Brad