Recent events with John Edwards's affair have gotten lots of people saying lots of things about betrayal, the nature of forgiveness, who deserves to be forgiven and under what circumstances. Most of it has been pretty angry stuff, which won't help address the real issues. So, at the risk of adding to the pile up of unhelpful approaches, I will give it a shot. After all, we are all in need of forgiveness for something, and probably could repair a relationship or two if we were more able to forgive.
It's really pretty simple. There are no limits to that which can be forgiven, but there are limits as to who can forgive any given thing. The issue is our relationship to the thing which needs forgiving, not the severity of the act, which might render it beyond forgiveness. We are always free to forgive anything, but we can only forgive that which has been done to us.
We cannot demand that others forgive what has been done to them and we cannot forgive people for the hurt that they have caused others. That is why even in the Jewish tradition which annually asserts on Yom Kippur, that no sin is beyond God's forgiveness, for sins committed against fellow human beings, one must get forgiveness from those they have wronged.
The idea that some things are "unforgivable" per se', flies in the face of any faith which asserts the existence of an infinitely understanding and loving God. Any act judged from that perspective would always be forgivable because both the actor and his actions would be seen in a context which would render each as understandable and possible to get beyond - hence forgivable.
But we are not God and so we can't, and perhaps should not, always do that. I think that we seek the limits of forgiveness in order to feel okay about those things we can not, and do not, forgive. If the act is "unforgivable", then there is nothing wrong with us for not forgiving it. Perhaps we should worry less about what should be considered unforgivable, and focus more on those things that we might stretch ourselves to forgive and even more so, for which we should seek forgiveness.
As to the recent story with John Edwards' infidelity, and frankly I don't know why its a news story at all, the only thing to decide about his wife's decision to forgive him is why we think she did it. We could read her forgiveness as a cynical ploy which the furtherance of his political career demands. Or we could interpret it as a testimony to her capacity to support the man who has betrayed her, finding within herself the power to forgive a man she still loves. Our decision about that though, probably says more about each of us (and the relationships we are in) than it does about either John or Elizabeth Edwards.
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Author, radio and TV talk show host, and President of CLAL-The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership, Brad Hirschfield is the author of 
John McCain committed adultery, Rudy Giuliani committed adultery yet they are forgiven. Three "Great Evangelical Preachers" committed adultery (with prostitutes no less) and they are forgiven.
BUT if a democrat commits adultery it is not forgivable, don't you know that?? Democrats are the Devil's spawn, nothing they do is forgivable!!!!
We live by a double standard here in the political realm of America, Republicans "Walk with God" and their sins don't count because they are God's Chosen People and are redeemed. While Democrats are the rejected and despised of God and they are doomed to everlasting torment. Republicans are the only ones going to Heaven, don't you know, and God will never allow a democrat into the pearly gates.
If I sound bitter, it is because I am. I have a very hard time forgiving those who glorify themselves and have elected themselves above others.
For our own personal peace of mind, we need to forgive. However, in forgiving the act done against us we do not necessarily continue in fellowship as formerly - before the act against us. The act may be forgiven, but the relationship forever changed.
TO LUCY- there were MORE people involved because the "other" is having a baby but wont allow a DNA test
one of the staff who is married says he is the real father
and it is now being reported that the "other" has proof that Edwards had told her he loved her and that when his wife dies he will take the children he has by the present wife and the one comming and marry her
the chidren-particularly the ones that understand
There is a possibility that I am surprised Mrs E. did not put a spin on if not true or if true admitted to-she would not be the first wife who is dying who encouraged their husband to meet and possibly care for a woman who could take their place-particularly with young children. It has occured!
In Jewish law, forgiveness is only after, and I stress, only after the perpetrator has done repentance (teshuva) which according to Maimonides is made up of 3 distinct items (go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repentance_in_Judaism):
1. The perpetrator really ("charotoh") believes and understands that what he did is wrong.
2. Accepts upon himself (and a real and true acceptance) to not do the same sin again in the future & of course has already ceased doing the act.
3. Lastly confesses to God on his actions and MUST beg for forgiveness.
This is Jewish law in all the generations.
Furthermore if this is an offence to a freind (stealing, libel, etc) then one must ask forgiveness and beg for a serious forgiveness from one's freind.
Forgiveness is not something of a nod of the head as many would think, rather this is a serious thing and takes time and healing, of making up and by doing so geting closer to the freind. And its the same with God, via a full and real repentance, is all about one ultimately becomes closer to God. Note that Teshuva in Hebrew means "return".
So - if a person (like Mr Edwards) did adultery, he must regret his actions, cease and promise never to this again, confess to God AND to his wife (whom he really damaged).
If the situation were different, and female politician cheated on her husband who had metastatic prostate cancer - her career would be over, and she would be condemned by all as an unsuitable mother, wife, and political candidate. But the reaction to the Edwards scandal by some seems to be boys will be boys. Look at the treatment of Hilary Clinton - all she has to do is wear a pantsuit and raise her voice a few decibels, and she receives public disdain.
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