Rabbi–I live in the Buffalo community. I agree with eveything you had to say on this subject. However, although the story is on the front page of the Buffalo News, it will not get the attention it deserves because our community is still reeling from Thursday night’s plane crash that took 50 lives. 50 people were suddenly taken from the community leaving behind children, spouses, friends, etc. Even some of the 1st responders are suffering from PTSD. What makes it even harder is that other planes flew in that night in the exact same conditions including the exact same type of plane flying the exact same route for the exact same airline. Among those who were lost was a much beloved cantor from a local synagogue who was returning from vacation. She leaves behind two young sons.
What does our religion have to say about the unfathomable event that occurred Thursday night in Buffalo?
R

Though I never heard of Assiya until the horrible manner of her death, my thoughts are with her family and friends at this time. My she rest peacefully in the arms of the Goddess.

MY RESPECT GO OUT TO THE YOUNG LADY’S FAMILY BUT I AM A WOMEN THAT CAME UP IN AN CHRISTIAN HOME AND NOW I AM ENGAGED TO A MUSLIM I TRULEY BELIEVE GOD HAS NO EXCEPTION ON LOVE I DO WANNA SAY THAT ASSIYA SOUND LIKE A GOOD WOMEN BUT THE MOST INPORTANT PART IS THAT HER HUSBAND ASK FOR FORGIVENESS

This was not an honor killing. I wish that people, including you Rabbi, would stop perpetuating that erroneous speculation. MO Hassan was married before to a non-Muslim woman, and had two children with her as well. He divorced the first wife without killing her. He was not a religious Muslim. Bridges TV was nothing more to him than an oppertunity to make money. He did not fast or pray as is required in the religion. HE often said that he did not miss Pakistan, or wish to visit. He was very Americanized. What this was is an example of is his rage, and domestic abuse… not an “honor killing.” I know all this becuase I used to work there. Leave the religion of Islam out of it.

What a shocking incident! This really should come as a wake up call to all women – please don’t tolerate abuse. It is unfair to yourselves and your children and families. Monsters such as this man should really have to suffer the worst possible consequences and may God bless the victim, her children and family.

less hope today then yesterday…………..

It was Aasiyas idea to start this Bridges TV, not Mo’s. As another poster said, it was for him to make money. I don’t think this had anything to do with his religion, because it crosses all religions, this type of treatment by some men who feel by culture, and yes, religion, again, that they are superior to women and under all this bravado they truly feel inferior, so strike out in anger to their wives and girlfriends when they feel they are losing control of them. The way he killed is relevent to how that part of the world kills, and he regressed into this when he took her life. No, I won’t pray for MO, God will take care of what he needs.

AChoudhry wrote: “Monsters such as this man should really have to suffer the worst possible consequences and may God bless the victim, her children and family.”
Sorry, assuming only for the purposes of this post the guilt of Mo Hassan we can certainly say that the deed he committed was evil and that a great deal of harm has already resulted from it and will continue indefinitely to flow from it. However, it helps no one to term him a “monster.”
Dehumanizing those who do evil may be a natural and understandable tendency, but it is the flip side of the the dehumanization of the victim. Leaving aside for now the issue of how to think about and what terms to use for the worst of the worst – the Hitlers and Stalins of the world – we need to get past thinking of those who perpetrate evil on others as somehow less than human.
People do evil. Monsters are incapable of evil. They merely follow their “instincts” the same way the wolf who kills the deer does no evil. It doesn’t make them less scary or less dangerous. It’s just the way it is.
If you truly experience as evil such violence as befell Aasiya Zubair Hassan, then you owe it to her to accept the full humanity of her killer. And only in that context can an appropriate punishment be determined.
Peace,
Pavvel

It is a sad news. Being a muslim I can tell you it is not coming from the religion, unlike orthodox christians muslims women can be divorced and remarry. If he is guilty, it is his male ego is to blame. It is not only the culture of Pakistan because there are thousands of them who are getting divorced every day and are still alive. The capacity of humans to be cruel crosses cultural and religious boundaries. If Islam is to blame for this killing then who is to blame for all the killings of ex wives and ex girlfriends in the US and other parts of the world. It is not the religion it is the evil inside the human that takes over the soul.

You seemed to have missed the ironical incongruence of intent and subsequent deed. For, as I understand it, a principal intent of Bridges TV was to build a bridge of understanding between Muslims, who deem themselves inherently non-violent by virtue of their compassionate faith, …in contradistinction to their radical brethren,… and non-Muslims who seem to have gotten the idea, by way of these radical brethren, that Muslims are inherently violent by virtue of a faith that impresses them to be compassionate but only toward those who behave in agreement with them. Otherwise the perilously unpredictable tinderbox of the monarch of pride in the guise of honor looms foreboding. Whence arose the notion that we must therefore be careful in their presence, …we must kowtow to their dignity as exemplars of humanity,… lest the motions of our bodies and especially our words spark them into actions incongruent. Even now there are those who think that even I, …who would like this bridge repaired, as do my several Muslim friends,… should have measured these words more timidly. Here, but only in the etymological sense, a pontificate is needed more than ever. A generalization of particulars is tragically easy, especially when a particular number of them is most difficult.

What is Honor Killing anyway? What right has any man to kill his wife if a divorce is on the table? What kind of a mentality does it take to permit the religious ego to rule the roost. When are we, in the west, are going to learn that the Koran the Hadith and Sharia law are an integral part of the male Muslim ego, not necessarily relgion but the Muslim ego. These are cruel beyond comprehension words that are taken literally when convenient and supposedly calm a damaged self. It is hoped that the husband who perpetrated this horrible crime will be punished by a civil court in the manner of the Western world. East meets West headon in ths particula case. Children orphaned for what reason, what will be explained to them as to why mommy isn’t there for them anymore. This deed is beyond the cruel and comprehension it is beyond understanding and compassion.

I am glad that you compare the rare occurances (10 years ago) of Jews that went a wall with the so frequent accounts of Muslims that just performing savage acts on their own people not to mention the reasons behind them. Keep up the good work!

I am a Irish Catholic who doesn’t drink, and i have friends of many other religions and cultures. This includes Muslims and Jews, among others. Granted, I am not well versed in either of these religions and/or cultures, but I believe that there is one God that all of us share, no matter what your religion calls him or her.
I also believe that God wants us all to learn to accept other people as they are and to be kind to everyone. No generalizations can apply to this. Irish Catholics are not all alcoholics, Muslims are not all terrorists, and Jews are not all money grubbing cheaters (sorry, that last one is my mother’s belief, not mine).
I don’t know why people murder other people, or commit any crimes against them. But I don’t think it serves any purpose to say that any one faith or culture does it more.
As Victria said, “What is Honor Killing anyway? What right has any man to kill his wife if a divorce is on the table?” She’s not dishonoring him because she wants a divorce, but he has certainly dishonored himself by abusing her for many years.
What right does a man have to kill his pregnant wife or girlfriend and their child? This is the #1 cause of death for pregnant women in the US. And just because you have a new mistress is not an excuse, just as looking for the “real killer” on the golf course never seems to pan out.
What right do people have to stone a woman to death because she was raped? Rape should not dishonor the woman but the man who perpetrated the act. Maybe he should be stoned to death instead. Or maybe he should be “fixed” like a stray Tomcat who can’t control his urges.
This is all male ego related, although women commit their share of crimes too. And too many people hide behind excuses such as “Honor Killing” as a way to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions.

When divorce is not an option, agreeing to separate, or ignoring the other person, praying, or trying to understand the other person’s position, would seem to be the better choice. Also counting to 10 slowly, or to 100 or 500, taking 10 long cleansing breaths, or walking away from the tense situation is something to think about. Doing something else, a different activity that one enjoys, or taking a long walk with children are some possibilities to consider when someone’s temper or level of frustration is overcoming rational thought, or offense has been taken over some traumatic event, words, or reaction to someone else’ actions.
Asking advice from a multitude of wise persons in a difficult situation is another possibility. It is amazing what one can learn from another person’s perspective on a given or perplexing situation. Other persons can see different perspectives for the same situation, as in a baseball game. Persons are in different positions, but it is the same game. A new insight may help someone to see the circumstances in a different light. Also seeing the situation from another’s view may be enlightening.
Hope this helps someone to have some hope in frustrating circumstances, so that someone may “cool down” when the going gets rough

The Rabbi’s kind words regarding our sister Aasiya are marred by his comment regarding honor killings. This violent, brutal act of violence against a defenseless woman has nothing to do with Islam, it has only to do with rage.
If the Rabbi worked with the Hassans he would have known that Aasiya was known to be the person of faith in that family and her husband was not. Comments from employees and others have made it clear that “Mo” Hassan was not educated in Islam, nor did he practice the faith to any outward extent. Islam does not allow a man to kill his wife for any reason. Let’s just get that straight.
The problem of honor killings does exist in the Muslim world, in the Hindu world, and in other patriarchal societies still ’til today. However, in terms of Islam, violence against women is forbidden, and not part of the faith in any way. People who do not practice the faith are the ones who are committing violent acts.
However, even Hassan’s defense attorney and others are saying the term honor killing should not be considered when discussing this case. It’s only the people who wish to paint Islam and Muslims with a broad, black brush who are grabbing up this term. When OJ Simpson slaughtered his ex-wife Nicole and Ron Goldman, stabbing them so viciously that Nicole’s head was almost severed from her body, did we use the term honor killing? Did we say he did it because he was black, or he was a Christian? No, we knew he did it because he was an anger-filled, maniacal, violent man who was not going to allow Nicole to exit from his life.
Please, let’s look at this murder as we would regard any other case of brutal domestic violence. The Rabbi should be wondering if he could have taken bolder steps to ensure the safety of his friend, Aasiya and not be sullying her memory and her mission to build bridges of understanding between people of different faiths by perpetuating another stereotype.

I commend his words and indeed pray for the entire family. I will focus my thougts on his intentions and not pick apart each sentence looking for something to be offended by. It is time we set aside our stereotypes and look for our similarities (as Ms. Walker intones). To paraphrase Martin Luther King Jr. “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

As a Muslimah, I am sickened by this murder and disheartened by the horrible publicity it brings down on our community. How ironic that he founded “Bridges” (to which I have donated since its inception). He certainly has burned more bridges than he built!

“Your Name”
You are right that the irony of this trgedy is profound. But whatever Mo has done, the bridges can not be burned if we do not let them go up in flames. It is up to us to keep the bridges open, I am committed to doing so and hope that you will keep the faith and join me in that cause.

I agree, this is the time to pay respect to Aasiya, her childrena nd her family. This vicious act is WRONG and it does not matter what we decide to call it. Name it whatever anyone wants, the act is despicable in itself. No one has the right to take someone’s life, no matter what the reaon maybe.
I hope that this sad event gets everyone to think how we function and act on our righteousness on a daily basis, it can be a very humbling and spiritual experience.

I am sorely disappointed that Mr. Ansari has created a pretzel by twisting the Rabbi’s comments, indirectly blaming him for Aasiya death.

This is my first time reading your column. I am a Christian but as many of us know, we all have friends of different religious and ethnic persuasions. I believe we all have the same basic beliefs. We all believe life is precious. When I heard about this murder I did not perceive it as being of a religious nature. I wonder if categorizing it as such is bringing more negative attention to the Islamic belief than is necessary. Murder no matter what the reason, is in fact murder…it should be treated as such.