Many people believe that Bar and Bat Mitzvah parties are “out of control” in terms of lavishness and cost. They even made a movie about it called Keeping Up With The Steins. If you haven’t seen it, you should, especially if you are dealing with the issue in your own home or community.
Frankly, I am less concerned about the level of lavishness at any of these parties than many folks seem to be because they seem appropriate to the overall level of lavishness in the lives of those who make the parties. And why should the party which celebrates a religious event be less lavish than one which celebrates a secular one in the life of the same family?
All parties reflect the values of those giving them. The issue should be the degree to which the Bar or Bat Mitzvah party succeeds in reflecting the values publically affirmed by those celebrating. And in the case of Tuvia Stern, I shudder to think what those are.
According to the New York Post, Stern catered a fancy party, complete with kosher catering and a well-known Jewish singer, for his son’s Bar Mitzvah in Stern’s current home — the New York City downtown lockup known as “The Tombs”. Worse yet, the city of New York paid overtime to the guards who supervised the festivities!
Other than the inappropriate use of public funds for the guards, some have asked “what’s the big deal?” My answer: “Nothing, if you want to teach your children that crime does pay, that manipulation works, that Jewish ritual celebration has no ethical content, and that there is no shame in being a financial-scam artist.”
The jailhouse rabbi who approved this offensive behaviour has been suspended for two weeks. I can’t wait to hear what excuse he offers for his behaviour.
Author, radio and TV talk show host, and President of CLAL-The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership, Brad Hirschfield is the author of 
posted June 11, 2009 at 4:53 pm
People at the highest level of the Departmen of Corrections ought to lose their jobs for this.
posted June 11, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Question- if he pays the city for overtime for the guards, is it OK?
posted June 11, 2009 at 11:35 pm
No, Chink, because it’s a more than dollars and cents. Not only was this prisoner allowed to have a six-hour party at the jail, his guests violated numerous security provisions that no other inmate could get away with: they could carry cellphones and the caterer’s service included the use of knives — inside a maximum security many of whose residents are accused of violent crimes, even murder.
Jail officials who allowed this to happen have to go. Either they were corrupt (paid off to look the other way) or plain incompetent.
posted June 12, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Although I certainly believe the incident reflects poor judgment all the way around for the The Tombs administration, I shudder to think how these facts can be taken out of context by the various haters. That is also a reason not to act in this way.
posted March 1, 2011 at 1:15 pm
Hello. And Bye.