A successful life is, I believe, one that can be viewed from its end without regrets. May this help you to that:
1. Don’t hurt anybody. This means anybody, but especially those close to you. And if you hurt someone inadvertently, make amends.
2. Help where you can. More regrets come from sins of commission than omission, but still, do
what you can to make things better. There’s a lot of good information on this in Kate Lawrence’s The Practical Peacemaker: How Simple Living Makes Peace Possible.
3. Stay close to the important people. We move a lot these days. We go to different schools and work at different jobs and live in different cities. Some friendships will, by necessity, be short-term. But the important people—family and friends who should have been family—need to stay in your life.
4. Express your gifts and talents. If you can get paid for them, you’re lucky. If you have to do them after hours, you’re still lucky just to have them.
5. Make a life list and do the stuff that’s on it. Coming up with a life list (“bucket list”) is a way to zero in on what you really want to do. Some of what you’ll write is easy—you can do it right away. Some of your 100 “things to do before I’m dead” will take time and money and effort. Just having them down in black and white will help you get there. 2 Do Before I Die is a great reference.
6. Find a way to get what you really, really want. We’re all grown-ups; we know that we don’t get everything we want in this life. Still, those relatively few things that you really, really want you’re supposed to go for. They might not come the way you think or at the time of life that you expect them, but don’t give them on them. They’re too important
7. Think before you act. It’s frightening that we make some of biggest decisions with very little thought. Think! Think before your choose a major or take a job. Think before getting married or getting divorced. Think before you lose your cool and say (or write) something you wish you hadn’t. Have this line be your first answer most of the time: “I’ll have to get back to you on that.”
8. Save some money. You’ll need it—not just when you’re old, but every so often before you’re old. Things come up. Money you’ve saved is aptly called a cushion. It’s there for you to rest on. My favorite money book is Jerrold Mundis’s practical classic, How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt, and Live Prosperously.
9. Take care of your health. Take care of it every day, when you’re feeling happy and
energetic and when you want to move in under the bed and get food pushed in on a tray. You cannot be a health fanatic; that is like being a life fanatic. The health book I’m loving right now is Younger Next Year. It’s mostly about exercise and the writers—a savvy internist/gerontologist and an athletic, energetic, retired attorney—say you have to do 45 minutes six days a week or you’ll rot.
10. Let the little stuff go. It only seems important! Ask yourself: What will this mean in 100 years? In many cases, you could ask about 100 days and get the same answer: it won’t mean much. Value relationships more than being right. Put things in perspective. Have a good time.
Victoria Moran is an author, speaker, and life coach. Follow her on Twitter.
posted June 9, 2009 at 7:58 am
Thanks for sharing this, Victoria. It really can be simple if we want it to be. Your tips are what my parents told me were common sense, but what they didn’t say is that applying them consistently is the “journey.” Thank you for this reminder.
posted June 10, 2009 at 4:58 am
Thanks, Victoria, for always reminding us of the important things and making them seem so do-able. I wrote a post this week about the importance of defining and measuring what ‘success’ means to us in every aspect of our lives. If we do that, we can feel proud of all the little steps on our journeys that make us feel happy and grateful.
posted June 10, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Another amazing top 10 list. This is going on the fridge.
Thanks.