It’s unlikely that you can
change any ingrained habit in a day. The ever-brilliant “they” (as in “they
say…) report different time frames for letting go of one habitual practice and
inserting another in its place. I’ve heard everything from 21 days to a full
year – a complete cycling through all four seasons.
The amount of time I tend
most to agree with is 16 weeks. I’ve seen in my own life and with my clients
that this 4-month period is about right for making a change that lasts. (This
doesn’t count for addictions, however: those you have to keep an eye on a day
at a time for the rest of your life.)
So, this day 17 suggestion
may indeed be for day 17 plus 16 weeks, and that is: “change just one habit.”
You do yourself a favor if you choose a habit that’s already on the list of
things you want to work on this month, or is at least related to something
there. That way, you’re reinforcing an effort already being made. But you’re
free, of course, to pick some
off-the-wall habit that has nothing to do with the other life changes you’re
paying attention to right now.
Either way, figure out what
the opposite of this habit is and
write that down as your personal affirmation. Put it on Post-Its and on your desktop
and in your journal. Write it at least ten times a day and read it – aloud – at
least thirty. Glue it to your memory. And most importantly, every time you
actually do this thing – this opposite action of the habit you want to sever -
give yourself a fabulous compliment and, every now and then, an actual gift.
This reinforces the positive change.
The habit I want to change is
to get past the notion I’ve had for over a decade that any hours after dinner
are for vegging out. Of course I want to veg out some – that’s a basic need -
but to spend from 7:30 to 10 every night doing nothing more productive except
brush/floss/rinse and cleanse/tone/moisturize isn’t working for me. I want to
get into the habit of getting the dinner dishes done and the kitchen cleaned up
before ye olde veg-out time, and I want to get my financial records for the day
- income received, deductible expenses recorded – so that neither of those
tasks spills over to the next morning.
Let’s see, this is October
27. Four months from now is February 27. I’ll keep you posted now and then
about how I’m doing and I’ll give you a full report at the end of February. If
you want to do the same, put your commitment and your progress reports in the
Comments section – we’ll all be cheering you on.
New Yorkers! – How would
you like to live the “Look-Great, Feel-Fabulous, Never-Age Lifestyle”? Learn
how this evening, Tuesday, October 27, when Victoria Moran presents this
lecture at 36th St. Studio, 260 W. 36th Street,
Manhattan. The presentation is geared to actors, but all are welcome. Enroll by
emailing rsvp@36streetstudio.com.
There is no charge. A selection of Victoria’s books will be available for
signing after the talk.
posted October 28, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Great post. I’ve heard about taking the 21-day challenge to change a habit. Perhaps I’ll give it a try. I would like to change my habit of going into “fear” mode every time the first of the month arrives at my doorstep!
posted October 28, 2009 at 3:11 pm
I want to change from being a lazy butt to exercising daily!
posted October 28, 2009 at 4:58 pm
This is such a powerful tip. Changing one thing at a time seems to be critical for long-term success. Good post.
posted October 28, 2009 at 5:47 pm
I have the worst habit of being late for almost everything!!! The bracket of time from when I realize I’m late to when I get where I’m supposed to be going is really agonizing. It’s totally because I try to cram too much in :S My new affirmation: “I am always on time”.
posted October 29, 2009 at 4:17 pm
This sounds like a good way to start on some of my “wanna git rid of” habits. The first one to work on is get off the swing shift and change to the day shift – in my mind. Waking each morning at 11:30 a.m. loses half a day. That is not what I want out of life.
posted October 29, 2009 at 9:27 pm
A few years ago I developed some serious pain in my jaw. The orthodontist wouldn’t give me braces until I got therapy to learn how to swallow correctly (which is probably what caused me to need braces in the first place). I went to weekly therapy sessions for several months. You all would have had a great laugh if you could have seen me doing my exercises on my drive to work. Anyway, I did it and I’ve now learned to swallow correctly. I figure if I can relearn something that I had been doing wrong my entire life, I can do anything!
posted October 30, 2009 at 6:14 pm
I want to change my habit of being stuck in my past mistakes that in turn makes it hard for me to move on. From this day on, I would focus on the postive things happening today. I would be thankful at the end of the day for all the good things that passed my way.
posted November 1, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Thank you for your wonderful blog!
posted November 6, 2009 at 11:01 am
This is a good one and I think the advice to write it down ten times a day and read it out loud 30 is great and will help me stick to it. One thing that I do that I really want to change is go back and forth with eating really healthy and then suddenly eating lots of pasta and bread. I want to create a steady diet of healthy food and stick to it. I always feel better so it’s time to take the official challenge!