Your Charmed Life

30 days to a charmed life Day 18: change just one habit

Tuesday October 27, 2009

Categories: Solving problems

It's unlikely that you can change any ingrained habit in a day. The ever-brilliant "they" (as in "they say...) report different time frames for letting go of one habitual practice and inserting another in its place. I've heard everything from 21 days to a full year - a complete cycling through all four seasons.

The amount of time I tend most to agree with is 16 weeks. I've seen in my own life and with my clients that this 4-month period is about right for making a change that lasts. (This doesn't count for addictions, however: those you have to keep an eye on a day at a time for the rest of your life.)

So, this day 17 suggestion may indeed be for day 17 plus 16 weeks, and that is: "change just one habit." You do yourself a favor if you choose a habit that's already on the list of things you want to work on this month, or is at least related to something there. That way, you're reinforcing an effort already being made. But you're free, of course,  to pick some off-the-wall habit that has nothing to do with the other life changes you're paying attention to right now.

Either way, figure out what the opposite of this habit is and write that down as your personal affirmation. Put it on Post-Its and on your desktop and in your journal. Write it at least ten times a day and read it - aloud - at least thirty. Glue it to your memory. And most importantly, every time you actually do this thing - this opposite action of the habit you want to sever - give yourself a fabulous compliment and, every now and then, an actual gift. This reinforces the positive change.

The habit I want to change is to get past the notion I've had for over a decade that any hours after dinner are for vegging out. Of course I want to veg out some - that's a basic need - but to spend from 7:30 to 10 every night doing nothing more productive except brush/floss/rinse and cleanse/tone/moisturize isn't working for me. I want to get into the habit of getting the dinner dishes done and the kitchen cleaned up before ye olde veg-out time, and I want to get my financial records for the day - income received, deductible expenses recorded - so that neither of those tasks spills over to the next morning.

Let's see, this is October 27. Four months from now is February 27. I'll keep you posted now and then about how I'm doing and I'll give you a full report at the end of February. If you want to do the same, put your commitment and your progress reports in the Comments section - we'll all be cheering you on. 

New Yorkers! - How would you like to live the "Look-Great, Feel-Fabulous, Never-Age Lifestyle"? Learn how this evening, Tuesday, October 27, when Victoria Moran presents this lecture at 36th St. Studio, 260 W. 36th Street, Manhattan. The presentation is geared to actors, but all are welcome. Enroll by emailing rsvp@36streetstudio.com. There is no charge. A selection of Victoria's books will be available for signing after the talk.

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Comments
Barbara Butler
October 29, 2009 4:17 PM

This sounds like a good way to start on some of my "wanna git rid of" habits. The first one to work on is get off the swing shift and change to the day shift - in my mind. Waking each morning at 11:30 a.m. loses half a day. That is not what I want out of life.

Marly
October 29, 2009 9:27 PM
http://www.namelymarly.com

A few years ago I developed some serious pain in my jaw. The orthodontist wouldn't give me braces until I got therapy to learn how to swallow correctly (which is probably what caused me to need braces in the first place). I went to weekly therapy sessions for several months. You all would have had a great laugh if you could have seen me doing my exercises on my drive to work. Anyway, I did it and I've now learned to swallow correctly. I figure if I can relearn something that I had been doing wrong my entire life, I can do anything!

Jenny
October 30, 2009 6:14 PM

I want to change my habit of being stuck in my past mistakes that in turn makes it hard for me to move on. From this day on, I would focus on the postive things happening today. I would be thankful at the end of the day for all the good things that passed my way.

Camille
November 1, 2009 12:21 PM

Thank you for your wonderful blog!

Rebecca
November 6, 2009 11:01 AM

This is a good one and I think the advice to write it down ten times a day and read it out loud 30 is great and will help me stick to it. One thing that I do that I really want to change is go back and forth with eating really healthy and then suddenly eating lots of pasta and bread. I want to create a steady diet of healthy food and stick to it. I always feel better so it's time to take the official challenge!

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About Your Charmed Life

“Victoria transforms ordinary life into a set of extraordinary experiences.” – Dr. Richard Carlson, author of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Victoria Moran is an inspirational speaker, spiritual-life coach, and author of ten books including the best-selling Creating a Charmed Life and the new (April 2009) Living a Charmed Life: Your Guide to Finding Magic in Every Moment and Meaning in Every Day. She lives a charmed life in New York City.

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