30 days to a charmed life day 19: forgive yourself

Fitting intro to today's topic: forgive yourself. 

Admittedly, it is easier to forgive yourself for a momentary (or 48-hour) lapse than for those awful, ancient sins of omission or commission that seem to play back over and over, like great pass on the televised football game. Except that they're not great. They're wretched. And these replays make you feel like hell.

The religious traditions of the world have all offered ways to deal with guilt and practice self-forgiveness. The basic template is: (1) You're already forgiven from Upstairs; this work is for your own benefit; (2) Recognize the failing/blunder/mistake/misstep/outrage/oversight (or whatever it is) and check in with God about it; (3) Run it past a human who has good sense (this is the confession/repentance/psychotherapy part), and do what this person tells you; (4) Learn from the experience (i.e., next time you miss the mark, may it not be in this exact way) and then let it go. 

This is a pretty useful process for forgiving yourself, regardless of the size of the screw-up. Once you've done it -- really done it -- you don't have to lament the thing anymore. If the thought of it comes up, think, "Oh that, yeah, well, thank goodness that's behind me." And then go do something useful, delightful, or nearly impossible. That will keep you focused on the now.

Photo credit/image: AJ .. II

Photo credit/Victoria Moran headshot: David Rodgers: www.davidrodgersphotography.com