Your Charmed Life

Victoria Moran: May 2009 Archives

Friday May 29, 2009

Book Party at Peter Max Studio

Okay, I live a charmed life. The party for The Love-Powered Diet happened last night and it was like Baby Bear's porridge: just right. 

For starters, we were in the midst of all those amazing Peter Max paintings. I grew up on that work. It helped shape me, as it did many people of my generation. And there I was, surrounded by it. Peter's beautiful wife, Mary, a true champion of compassionate living, introduced the evening which benefitted the New York Coalition for Healthy School Food.
Its director, Amie Hamlin, talked about the work of the Coalition to get junk food out of the public and schools and have the option of a plant-based entree available for students who want that. Then I talked a little bit about the message of the book, about how it's a way to change from the inside so using food as a drug is no longer necessary. And then, once you have the power of choice, to make choices that are loving -- to yourself, others, and the planet. It's simple, but it saved my life and I hope it will do the same for people who read it.

Here's what I learned tonight:

(1) I do have a charmed life. I can seem to lose it when I don't allow for the ebbs and flows, the low times and the disappointments. They're part of the whole. The more I focus on the magical and the less I focus on the rest (even though "the rest" may well have to be dealt with), the more taken I am with the whole package.

(2) People can be incredibly kind, generous, and supportive. This event happened because of the goodwill of Peter and Mary Max; the going-beyond-the-call service of an outstanding event planner, Lisa Bradley; music from the fabulous Bob Miles Trio (he's a noted guitarist who's all over PBS); food from Candle 79 and Angelica's Kitchen, two of the best vegetarian restaurants in New York City, pastries from noted chef Fran Costigan, and vegan ice cream from Stogo. Beautiful, reusable gift bags handmade from fabric scraps were donated by Bags for the People. And some of the dearest people in my life were there: my husband and daughter, and some of my best friends. I want to simplify my life so I'll be more available to be kind, generous, and supportive of others.

(3) Miracles happen every day, and sometimes they happen for me. This is the third life for The Love-Powered Diet. It was first published in 1992; revised and updated and republished by another publishing house in 1997: and it's now been revised and updated once again with a new publisher. This may not be a miracle of the parting-the-Red-Sea caliber, but it's pretty remarkable. Books usually don't get reissued even once, much less twice. I have to remember how many miracles (okay, to any pragmatists out there: amazing things) happen in my life instead of focusing on what I want that hasn't happened yet. 

(4) Things work out. If you read this blog on Wednesday, you know that we had an invitation snafu and the vast majority got caught in spam filters. No one realized that until Tuesday night, so we scrambled to invite people one at a time. It was so late that there was a smaller turnout that we'd have had otherwise, but that meant there was time to really be with the people who were there. I listened to people's names and learned them. I found out about their work and their causes. And there was plenty of ice cream for all.


Thursday May 28, 2009

Categories: Delights abounding

Playtime: the Power & Importance of Play

PLAYTIME!
an excerpt from
The Love-Powered Diet: Eating for Freedom, Health, and Joy
(c) Victoria Moran
Lantern Books, May 2009


Play is as essential for a happy life as are good nutrition, sleep, and exercise. It's an excellent de-stressor that can clear your thinking and help you put things in better perspective. Play and creativity are also inextricably linked. When we let our inner child come out to play, original thought often comes, too. Matthew Fox, author of Creation Spirituality: Liberating Gifts for the Peoples of the Earth, writes that art is "the result of play."

A common complication of our fast-paced lives is that they can cause people to lose their ability, and even their desire, to play. Since many of us started regimented living in childhood---school, homework, piano lessons, ballet lessons, gymnastics class, tutoring, summer school---we never fully expressed our inherently playful propensities, even at that time in life when play comes most naturally. If we now want to play, we have to learn how to do it.

I was so committed to learning how to play and to get over my near-terminal seriousness that I actually took a course: "Play for Grown-ups." The teacher, a professional recreator, had us hanging from monkey bars and flirting with eternity on a jungle gym from the first night. Soon we worked our way up to hide-and-seek, "Simon says," and stacking ourselves into four-layer human pyramids at the park.

It was terrifying. And it was great.

In that class I learned that I wasn't alone in being shy about letting loose and having a childlike good time. I was simply, like a lot of people, addicted to adulthood. With a strictly adult mindset, play is extraneous, useless, nonproductive, and a waste of time. It can even be a little scary.

As science writer K. C. Cole once stated in a New York Times article, "Play is out of control. In real play, we try things just to see what happens. In other words, we take risks." In adult-only thinking, risk is justified in business deals, the stock market, and if someone is drowning, but to risk making a fool of oneself at roller-blade class---you must be kidding!

So don't start with roller-blades. Start where you're almost comfortable. My play-class teacher did warn against card games, board games, and sports in the beginning since they're taken way too seriously. Beyond that, it's up to you. Here are some suggestions for gently re-entering the world of play.

•    Develop a better opinion of goofing off. A lot us have trouble with play because we really believe that there's something wrong about not constantly working, worrying, exercising, answering e-mail, washing dishes, or being in some other way purposefully occupied.

•    Rethink the idea of payoffs. It's true that play does good things for the mind and body, but it interferes with genuine playfulness if you're thinking, "This game of tag with my kid is reducing my work-related anxieties, developing a closer parent/child bond, and firming my quadriceps muscles."

•    Come at play through the back door. Befriend its cousin, laughter. Get some humor into your life every day. Read the comics. See a really funny movie. When you laugh, you're enjoying yourself without inhibitions. The same thing happens in play.

•    Observe the play experts: children and animals. After a while, you may even want to join in their games.

•    Cultivate friends who are playful by nature. They're the ones who seem to take life lightly. When you look for them, you'll find them.

•    Liberate your own playfulness. If you feel like singing when you walk, sing when you walk. They did it in Rogers and Hammerstein musicals all the time.

•    Take a playful attitude into the rest of your life. This isn't to say that there aren't times to be serious, but a person who knows how to play realizes that most things aren't nearly as serious as we make them. Because that person doesn't see every incident as infinitely grave, he or she can be most effective in those situations which truly are.


Wednesday May 27, 2009

Categories: Solving problems

Bouncing Back

wobble.jpgSome people think I have a very exciting life, even borderline glamorous. And sometimes I think so too. But the lessons of life get in there for all of us---karma or whatever it is---and I sometimes feel like one of those toys that's weighted on the bottom: you punch it and it bounces back. Do I sense somebody relating? I think it's pretty common. And thank goodness, because the alternative is getting punched and not bouncing back.

I see this a lot in my professional life. I've had some real success as an author and I'm grateful for that, but I'm not nearly where I want to be. The business is tougher and more competitive than it's ever been, and the Internet is starting to make professional writers---those who get paid for what they do---as extinct as blacksmiths and elevator operators. Sometimes I wake up and know that I'm only going to work; other times, it feels more like entering the ring.

Sometimes amazing things happen. That happened for me when a lovely couple offered to host the launch of my book, The Love-Powered Diet: Eating for Freedom, Health, and Joy, at a really remarkable Manhattan location. What a gift! I knew that the venue would entice press people and others who weren't yet familiar with my work. I was so, so happy. Things were moving right along. Early in May the publisher sent out evites, I went on the road with my other new book, Living a Charmed Life, and everything seemed to be, well, charmed.

But yesterday evening it was discovered that the bulk of the evites were caught in spam filters. All those press people that I'd so hoped to reach weren't reached at all. My first reaction was, "I can't do this anymore. I don't have the stomach for it. How many hopes can you have dashed before you just give up?" (I do have a dramatic side.) 

But after that, the little bouncy toy that I am---and that maybe you are, too---kicked in. What to do? The publisher volunteered to re-send the evites, and I, along with the exceptional event planner who's been working with me, wrote to everyone on the guest list personally, one at a time. It took half of last night and nearly all of today, except for the hour when I did my radio show (see below). Of course 99% of those people are already booked for tomorrow night so it's not going to make a huge difference in the turnout, but we did add a line that any media people who want a review copy can request one, and some have. People who wouldn't have otherwise have now heard of the book and its message: change on the inside first; then make loving food choices. And everyone who's supposed to be there will be there. I don't just write stuff like that: I swear by it.

Here's what I know: I don't run the world. Things happen that I wish didn't. I don't know my destiny and although I think I know my mission, I might even be off on that. I just know that I'd rather be a bouncy doll that comes back from disappointment than a china one that breaks, even if she's beautiful and almost never gets punched at all.

I did my monthly radio show, "A Charmed Life," today. You can listen to today's show and past ones on the Archives at HealthyLife.net. Guests today were Kate Lawrence, author of The Practical Peacemaker: How Simple Living Makes Peace Possible; and Karen Dawn, author of Thanking the Monkey: Rethinking the Way We Treat Animals. These are amazing women with important messages. Do have a listen.



Monday May 25, 2009

John Lennon: Remember. Imagine. And Give Peace a Chance.

John Lennon.jpgLast night William and I went to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Annex to see the John Lennon exhibit. I was a major Beatles fan in my youth, got to my first Beatles press conference in Kansas City at 14, my second in Toronto at 15, and when I was 16 befriended a road manager and got an inside glimpse into their behind-the-scenes world. That spring (I'd just turned 17), my manager friend, Mal Evans, introduced me to Paul McCartney at a little club in London called Bag o' Nails. Paul bought us all drinks, chatted a bit, and in between sang a little song: "I wish I was not a Beatle, 'cos maybe then I could have some fun."

The next night, I was at the same club but without Mal. John Lennon sat at the same table where Paul had been the night before. I considered myself far too sophisticated to bother him like a fan or something (which, of course, I was), but figuring that I knew Mal and all, I spoke to John and he was infinitely kind and characteristically funny. I'm glad I did it because that was my one chance, and John is gone now. So is Mal Evans, who evidently snapped after the Beatles' break-up and John's death; he was killed in a hostage situation by the LA police sometime in the early 80s. I'd lost track of him and only learned about his death when I read a biography of John Lennon. 

The exhibition is called "The New York Years" and was curated by Yoko Ono. It touched on guns and gun violence, and there's a poster people can sign that 
John 2.jpg
will be sent to President Obama at the end of the run, reminding him of the people who believe there are too many guns in this country. It all got me thinking -- about life and death and people who go too soon, about embracing every day and grasping for every opportunity. And about how amazing life can be. I was a nerdy kid from Kansas City. What was I doing hanging out with Beatles at the height of their popularity? Learning, I guess, that as long as we're on this planet, anything is indeed possible. And it still is. (Shown right: a plaque for John in Liverpool, photographed by 'Sparks 68.' )

Friday May 22, 2009

Categories: Solving problems

Conventional Wisdom: Loosening Up and Learning to Love

I thought you might enjoy this. I wrote it a couple of years ago. Two different magazines bought it and then un-bought it. Maybe that means you're supposed to be reading it now. I find this a joy-filled tribute to "mixed marriages"---people coming together with different ways of seeing things and making it work. It is sad as I read it over now, however, because I mention my husband's "three children." One of them, James, passed away in 2007 at age sixteen. I wish with every breath that he was still here, even though I know he's helping to light up heaven.

CONVENTIONAL WISDOM

I wasn't weird, just uncommon. Unchained by convention. A free thinker.

I home-schooled my only child, a daughter, so there would be time to see the world. We saw it. We even met the Dalai Lama. When not traveling, Rachael---she hadn't started going by her middle name, Adair, yet---and I lived with four cats and a dog, all foundlings. We refrained from eating anything that had once had eyes, except for potatoes and those had to be organic--preferably sold out of the back of the farmer's pick-up. I grew sprouts and juiced juice and spoke ill of famous soft drinks. The only thing in our house that was openly artificial was the Christmas tree: it just seemed mean to cut down a real one.

Our friends held similar views. They weren't all vegetarians but they knew the meaning of tempeh and seitan. They talked about gas mileage and they reduced/reused/recycled back when we still thought granola was diet food. The people we knew were mostly artists of some sort--if not from 9 to 5, then the rest of the time. Politically they were liberal and socially they were activists. Rachael learned to carry a picket sign in her stroller.

Compared to people we knew who wouldn't drive, or buy clothes that weren't used, or watch TV--ever--we were the all-American single-parent family, or so I thought until William came along. His singles ad---we about a year early for Internet dating---showed stunning eloquence in twenty-five words or less: "Divorced man, lived abroad most of life, looking for woman who enjoys travel, music, art. Age and race unimportant." Wow! Maybe he'd been in the Peace Corps.

William and I chose to rendezvous in a bagel shop. He said he'd met five of the thirty women who'd responded to his ad, but I was the first to bring non-dairy cream cheese. I learned that he hadn't been in the Peace Corps, but maybe his being a software attorney had helped developing nations get email. He was so attractive and articulate that I barely noticed that he was drinking Coke.

In the stupor of infatuation followed by the blindness of love, I also missed that we inhabited different universes, until fourteen months later when we were newly married and freshly ensconced in the same house. I had five children, four with fur; he had three, all human. His lived with their mother but would spend weekends with us. It was going to be delightful.

William thought so, too. That's why he gave me that grocery list, the one with all the party food, so we could celebrate the first Friday night his kids came. The list read:
•    Oreos
•    3 Musketeers miniatures
•    Potato chips
•    Frozen pizzas
•    Coke, Sprite, Sunny Delite
•    Wonder Bread
•    Lunchables

Okay, I could be flexible. This was a special occasion. "But, honey," I asked, "what should I buy for their real food, I mean, other than for the party?" He said he didn't know anything about a party; this was a grocery list. I wondered if only Catholics could get annulments.

I tried to act normal as I filled my shopping cart, but this was not normal. It was more like Halloween and I was masquerading as someone who knew what a Lunchable was. I put the molded-plastic-and-cardboard-packed rations into the cart, took off my jacket, and used it to camouflage both the Lunchables and the white bread, in case I saw somebody I knew.

Back home, I couldn't keep the humiliation to myself. I had to call someone and share the shame of buying food made by corporations, and let her know there was toy weaponry in my pacifistic basement, and beer---"Not even wine, Carol: beer!"---in my fridge. I waited for her to say "How can you bear it?" She said instead, "The first year of a good marriage is the worst, and the first year of a bad marriage is the best." Some friend. She also had a question for me: "Does William or do any of his children try to change you?"

"Well, no," I told her (while thinking, "Why would they? I'm right.").

"Then I'd say the biggest problem is your ego." That one got me, as the truth tends to do. I wanted to cover my head the way I'd covered the Wonder Bread. Instead I put the groceries away and asked William if he wanted a beer.

We have now been married almost ten years, and Carol was right: in our good marriage, it just gets better. My husband credits me with helping him be healthier, more spiritual, and more creative. I owe to him the fact that I can write for more readers and speak to more conditions because he's helped me see that there are lots of people out there who never get acupuncture or look forward to PBS pledge drives. We're closer than we ever were. He knows me better than anybody. And he loves me as if I were the sort of person I hope I'll one day be.

19.jpgThis is a picture of William and me. He's still cute and I'm still grateful.

Thursday May 21, 2009

Categories: Solving problems

Quick Clicks to Help Animals

If you're a champion of the non-humans with whom we share this planet, here's a way to help some of them without writing a check. Just click on these sites -- daily if you can -- and your clicks keep...

Wednesday May 20, 2009

Categories: Solving problems

Making Peace with Food & Losing Weight for Keeps

The Kirstie Ally interview on Oprah a couple of weeks ago nearly broke my heart. I identified -- and not just because Kirstie and I are about the same age and we're both Midwestern gals with a lot of spunk. Here's...

Tuesday May 19, 2009

Categories: Tuesday's Top 10 Tips

Top 10 Ways to Practice the Presence of God

When I was in seventh grade, my friend Rebecca Gott and I worked hard at being mystics. (She moved away to Nederland, Colorado. I've looked for her ever since. If via the magic of the Internet you know her, please put...

Monday May 18, 2009

Blended, Extended, Et Al: Family Is Love

I just spent two days with my stepsisters, Jan and Pam. This is probably the most concentrated time we've had together since my mother married their father when I was nine. Jan was older, a teenager and a beauty queen...

Friday May 15, 2009

Categories: Solving problems

Reinvention, Re-creating, & Starting All Over Again

Sometimes things happen. Everything was great and then: wham! The job goes, the truelove isn't true, the yearly checkup has bad news. What do you do? You marshal your resources, give it all you've got, and RE-create a charmed...

Thursday May 14, 2009

Time, Time Management, & Having the Time of Your Life

I received an intriguing message from my friend and colleague, holistic pyschotherapist Dr. Lynda Klau. The subject line was "You probably don't have time to read this email." I thought, "You got that right," and for that very reason, I opened...

Wednesday May 13, 2009

Categories: Delights abounding

Last Tango in Portland

More video from Living a Charmed Life ... This is the story of the most amazing manicure on record. Intrigued? Give a look. (Note: the clip is a bit longish -- 7 minutes, 38 seconds.)...

Tuesday May 12, 2009

Categories: Tuesday's Top 10 Tips

Top 10 Ways You Can End the Recession

Okay, that's a hopeful title. It will take more than one person, even President Obama or Bill Gates, to get the national and global financial system back to health. But each of us can do our part. Here's my Top...

Monday May 11, 2009

Categories: Spiritual adventuring

Knowing When Enough Is Enough

I shared with you last week a video clip from a Living a Charmed Life presentation, "Your Inner Epicure." She's inside you to help you enjoy the varied sensory and earthly delights of life. Her big sister is "Your Inner...

Friday May 8, 2009

Categories: Solving problems

Preemptive Happiness

This is my daughter, Adair, and her husband, Nick, at their wedding. (And Aspen, flower dog, whom you already know if you've read this blog for awhile.) They're spending Mother's Day with Nick's parents in Vermont (high time, too --...

Wednesday May 6, 2009

Categories: Delights abounding

Pleasure, Good Times, & Joy of Life

I"m so excited: everybody who didn't get to come to Barnes & Noble Monday night can join me for pieces of it right here! Thanks to a wonderful Internet marketing consultant who happened to be there on Monday, I have...

Wednesday May 6, 2009

Categories: Spiritual adventuring

One Life Saved

Today a year-old cow escaped from a slaughterhouse in Queens, NY. She was apprehended but spared, and she'll spend her life at a sanctuary. Tonight on the local news the anchors cheered her on, saying that she deserved her freedom....

Tuesday May 5, 2009

Categories: Solving problems

If I Were My Own Life Coach ...

If I were my own life coach, I would say: "Victoria, the hell with it. Seriously. Take care of yourself, take care of your family, and everything else can take a number." And since I am my own life coach right...

Monday May 4, 2009

Categories: Delights abounding

Broadway, Belgium, and Having Inspiration Your Way

This weekend William and I saw Every Little Step, a splendid documentary about the casting process for the Broadway revival of A Chorus Line. I loved it and I cried. Sobbed, in fact. William asked if I wanted to leave. I...

Friday May 1, 2009

Categories: Solving problems

A Dozen Life Charmers to Turn It All Around

You're reading a blog called "Your Charmed Life," and I'd like to give you on this May Day some suggestions that I think lead to living one. These are the 12 I came up with, drawing on my new book...

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About Your Charmed Life

“Victoria transforms ordinary life into a set of extraordinary experiences.” – Dr. Richard Carlson, author of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Victoria Moran is an inspirational speaker, spiritual-life coach, and author of ten books including the best-selling Creating a Charmed Life and the new (April 2009) Living a Charmed Life: Your Guide to Finding Magic in Every Moment and Meaning in Every Day. She lives a charmed life in New York City.

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