It seems that almost everyone today is burdened by debt. Our government is in debt to the tune of 11 trillion dollars and we, its citizens have managed to accumulate over 2 trillion dollars in consumer debt alone. Which, if my math is correct, means that together we owe about $56,000 per American in consumer debt, which does not include our mortgages. What’s even more scary is that the National debt continues to climb almost 4 billion dollars a day! What do we do with that?
Well, if I knew the exact answer to that question, I’d be President. But I may have some advice to pass along about how you can begin to overcome and make peace with debt. Here’s some of the advice I give to my clients:
1. Understand that you are not your debt. You debt represents where you are financially, not who you are.
2. Make a commitment to understanding your spending patterns so that you can form a new awareness around your shopping habits and impulses. Keep a small notebook to record both your daily purchases and your mood or emotions at the time of purchase. Notice if you tend to shop or buy impulsively for emotional reasons.
3. If you have any feelings of guilt or shame associated with being in debt, work on forgiving yourself and releasing the past. The past is history and you can choose to do it differently.
4. Make a Spending Plan that includes both saving and debt repayment to the best of your financial ability. Even little efforts will make a difference and will increase your self-esteem.
5. If your debt load is overwhelming and preventing you from sleeping or
living a normal life, it is important to seek the help of a certified
debt or credit counselor. Remember, you deserve help and support, so reach out for
assistance.
6. Debt can create stress in your life, so integrate stress management techniques into your daily life and nurture yourself by exercising and eating well.
7. If you are feeling deeply depressed, paralyzed or unable to cope with your financial circumstances, seek the help of a therapist or social worker.
8. If you know deep down that you cannot afford to pay your debts and it’s hurting your health, family or life, seek the advice of an attorney and consider bankruptcy as an option.
Ultimately, bankruptcy is about financial forgiveness and giving people a second chance, which everyone deserves. Know that your life, health and family are far more important than any debts you may owe.
9. Practice gratitude everyday for this one beautiful life you have been given. If you just do the best you can each day to make the most of what you’ve been given, things will work out.
10. Pray and/or meditate daily to maintain your spiritual and financial well-being.
Here’s a prayer for making peace with debt:
Dear God,
Please help me to heal my relationship with money
and to be released from the bondage of debt. Help me
to know that I am not my debt or my financial circumstances.
Help me to know that regardless of my circumstances that my
life has meaning and value. Help me to be kind to myself and to
use my indebtedness as an opportunity to heal and to be closer
to your infinite wisdom.
Give me strength, courage and wisdom and guide me to right action.
Please surround my life with your constant love, light and protection
so that I may know that I am never alone. Thank you for all you have
given me and continue to give me. For this and so much more, my
life is blessed and I am eternally grateful. I surrender all to you with faith
and trust that all will be resolved in time. And so it is.
Amen.
posted July 4, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Thank you, Deborah, for letting me know that I am NOT my debt. I’ve been beating myself up over my indebtedness, and just needed your words to get me “out of the woods” so to speak, and back to reality. I don’t have a financial advisor, because I feel I can do this on my own. I have been told to file for bankruptcy, but for me, that would be “giving up.” I am being VERY proactive with my debts, contacting my debtors for relief. Whatever breaks they allow me, I will go along with. I am a 61-yr-old, twice-widowed woman with no children, so I am, in essence, all alone in this. I also have bipolar disorder and other medical problems. I pray daily to get out of my mess, and listen for that “still, small voice” to guide me. With the Lord’s help, I WILL survive.
posted July 5, 2009 at 9:45 am
Thank you Deborah. Your words really healped ease my mind and pain. Thank you for letting me know that, not only am i NOY my debt, but that I am not alone. I have been separated from my husband for 8 months now, and trying to sustain finances on my own salary, which has been very difficult, when there was always two incomes. Thank you for recognizing the shame and despair of mounting debt, that I know I am unable to pay. But I am being drawn, ever closer, to God and HIs word. I pray daily for relief. Now I know, through your words of wisdom, that I must continue to praise God, because I am indeed very greatful for what I do have in my life. I have my children and family members in my life, shelter, a job, and I have the Lord in my life. For all these things, I am extremely Thankful. I would also like to Thank Suzanne, whose comments also made me know that I am not the only woman going through this. She sounds very positive about ehr situation, and it closely resembles mine. Her words, and your Deborah, help to give me strength. I am copying the prayer for peace, because it is exactly what I need, and what I need to confess daily. Thank you again for your supportive words.
posted July 5, 2009 at 9:52 am
Thank you for you kind words. They ahve really lifted me, spiritually. When I woke up this morning, after yet another restless night, I read my bible, then got on the computer to see if there was ANY one else, in this world, who could be going through what I am going through. Reading your words helped me to know that I am not the only one going through increasing debt problems. I sent in “comments” a few minutes ago, but it didn’t have my name (plus some typing errors), and I wanted you and suzanne to know that I personally Thank you for your encouraging words. Your words made me want to get out the bed,and start my day. Thank you Lord, for positive people, who somehow have touched MY life, without even knowing it. I am SO thankful.
posted July 7, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Here is another good advice that was not mentioned: destroy all your credit cards. This should be the first advice.
Stop going shopping. Accept for once that your TV could be 2 years old, that you don’t have the latest mobile phone, that spending more than you earn is a bad habit. As long as you don’t accept and understand that praying will not help.
Help yourself and God will help you!
posted August 5, 2009 at 5:13 pm
I suggest finding a company that offers both Credit Counseling and Debt Settlement. That way, when you speak to a financial counselor, you will find out what plan meets your needs. Also, make sure the debt settlement company you work with does not charge the settlement fees upfront.
Pingback: Money Coaching Monday: The Path to Financial Forgiveness - Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus