Deborah Price: June 2009 Archives

When the morning news announced that Bernie Madoff was sentenced to 150 years in prison today, I found myself wanting to do the "happy dance." But I didn't...simply because that first wave of elation quickly subsided into sadness. 

No, I'm not sad for Bernie. I am sad about all those people who trusted him with their money who have now lost everything. And, I am sad (and angry!) for those who have been so deeply betrayed that they might not ever fully recover or trust another person again. Losing your life's savings is hard enough to bear, but the loss of one's ability to trust is perhaps the greatest loss one could ever experience.

So, maybe it is true that the "love of money" is the root of all evil. That someone could love money so much that they would lie, steal, cheat, and manipulate everyone in their life in order to obtain it is inconceivable to most of us. How can we possibly protect ourselves from "the dark side" of money and the likes of Bernie Madoff?

Unfortunately, I do not have an easy answer to that question. However, as a Money Coach there are a few things I have always recommended to my clients that might be worthy of your consideration. When it comes to money:

1. If it looks too good to be true, it probably is.
2. Never put all your financial eggs in one basket.
3.Always be diversified in both investments and management.
4.Understand your risk tolerance and never let others convince you to invest otherwise.
5. If your investment advisor refuses to answer your questions, or makes you uncomfortable...run!
6. There are good and bad professionals in every profession. Just because Bernie made off with the money doesn't mean all financial advisors are bad. So if need financial help and advice, get it.
7. Never give your financial power away to anyone else. Learn to read your statements,
ask questions and hold your advisors accountable to real performance.
8. Let your heart and gut guide your financial decisions.

Since apparently, even the smartest, most careful people in the world couldn't see through Bernie's facade...pray for God's love, guidance and protection around all areas of your life,
including your financial well-being. Given recent events, that may be the best investment advice yet.

Peace and Blessings!

I find it sad that Michael Jackson, the king of pop, died this week and most of the news surrounding his death is about his financial life...how much his estate dropped in value, speculation of his net worth, how much debt he had accumulated and who will get what.

It's tragic that this remarkably talented man, who contributed greatly to the world of music and dance, died at such a young age. And all people have to talk about is his net worth? This is oddly ironic.

If anything, Michael Jackson serves as a powerful reminder to us all of how little money matters in the end. For even with all of Michael's success and money, it could not buy him what he seemed to have wanted and needed most: love and happiness.

Michael Jackson serves as a reminder to us all of what money cannot buy:
Money cannot heal a broken childhood.
Money cannot protect you or make you feel safe.
Money cannot make you feel good about yourself.
Money cannot make you feel whole and beautiful.
Money cannot give you a sense of self or self-acceptance.
Money cannot heal the pain you hold or the loneliness you feel.

I think it would be great if we all took a moment to reflect on and honor just how much
joy, beauty and music Michael Jackson brought into our lives...in spite of the pain he held.

God bless him and may he now rest in far greater place of peace.

Money issues can be the source of a great deal of stress and conflict in marriages. These conflicts can also be a wonderful opportunity to grow together and deepen the intimacy in our relationships. Without question, I have found in the work that I do with couples, that those who develop a level of financial intimacy, often have the best marriages. Because when we feel safe with someone financially, we can relax and allow ourselves to be truly vulnerable.

Unfortunately, many couples do not have this kind of intimacy and often fall into what I call "money traps."  Some of the most common "money traps" that I have seen are:

• Using money as a form of control or manipulation
• Failure to understand each other's money fears and triggers
• Misunderstanding each other's financial wants & needs
• Unclear agreements about financial priorities
• Assuming unconscious roles (i.e. Dependent/Caretaker)
• Procrastinating or withholding pertinent financial information

Here are some ways to avoid these issues:

• Get to know each other's "money types" early in your relationship.
• Talk openly about your issues, fears and concerns about money.
• Make clear agreements about how to handle money together as a couple.
• Don't buy or withhold your love with money.
• Take responsibility for your own financial well-being.
• Deal with money issues as they arise so they don't become a source of resentment.
  

 
I also recommend these simple practical tips for dealing with money that will allow you to work together as a team to co-create the financial life you desire:

• Create a Monthly Household Budget.
• Make joint decisions about what to do with the "leftovers" (spend it, save it, invest it).
• Establish a monthly "allowance" to spend or save as you each desire.
• Share the financial responsibilities and divide up the tasks or take turns.
• Have a monthly "Money Meeting" to discuss and clear up any unfinished or new money business.
• Create a list of goals and dreams to work on together and have fun with it.
• Acknowledge each other in positive ways for keeping agreements.

You can create the financial life you both want and deserve by understanding and supporting each other to be financially aware and empowered.  

Peace and Blessings!

 

In helping people identify and understand their money patterns and behaviors, I work with Money Types, or "archetypes." Money Types are not just another "label" meant to define you, but are a powerful way of helping people to gain awareness about their relationship to money. They are not "who you are" at all. However, they can help you understand  "where you are" with regard to money and your financial life.

I have identified eight specific Money Types, which are outlined in my book, Money Magic:Unleashing Your Potential for Wealth and Prosperity. For now, here are the cliff notes
on each of the eight types:

The Eight Money Types

Innocent  -  Takes the ostrich approach to money, doesn't want to see what's going on.  Seeks safety and security and longs to be rescued.

Victim - Often blame their financial situation on outside forces.Tends to live in the past and often has a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Warrior - Take charge, goal oriented, focused, and decisive. Tend to be the most successful as they are usually financially discerning, driven, and highly self-actuated.

Martyr - Busy taking care of others' needs, but often neglect their own.  Tend to be self-sacrificing and long-suffering.  Financially generous  but may have strings attached.

Fool - Tends to take financial shortcuts. Financially fearless, often impulsive and can get caught up in the enthusiasm of the moment. They need to slow down their financial decision-making process and do the research before signing on the dotted line.

Creator/Artist - Often on a spiritual or artistic path.  Finds the material world difficult to live in. Can be financially detached or have a conflicted love/hate relationship with money.

Tyrant - May use money to manipulate and control people, events and circumstances. Have a great need for safety and control and believe money is all that will provide that for them.

Magician - The ideal Money Type. Willing to claim their own power.  Armed with the knowledge of the past, they are at peace with money, feel financially secure and know their needs are always be met.

I will be blogging about each of the Eight Money Types over the course of the next week, so stay tuned.

In the meantime, take the Money Type Quiz and discover your own Money Types.

Peace & Blessings!

Today's Money Coaching Blog is for Marilyn who wrote in response my blog, Hold Onto Your Dreams. Here's Marilyn's comment:"I work at this job that is very stressful and my dream is opening up a bakery in my town when...

Everyone feels vulnerable when it comes to money. It's a core survival issue that can easily become triggered causing us to feel fearful, anxious, sad or angry. It's also an area of our lives that at times can feel out-of-control,...

Here's a wonderful blessing written by Patricia Pendergrass. Have a wonderful day!May God richly bless you May his face shine upon you May he show you your worth Not as is seen by man But as is seen through his...

(Note: Today's blog is dedicated to my goddaughter, Alexandra McGrath, who graduated.from UCSB yesterday. I love you, Alex!) Congratulations to the Class of 2009 college graduates! This is an extraordinary time that is rich with newly acquired wisdom and knowledge...

Sometimes, when we are experiencing financial difficulties we can begin to feel that our own gifts, which have little to do with money, have also become devalued. At times like this it is not uncommon to see people abandon their...

I am a big believer in the power of prayer and with all that is happening in the world around us, I invite you to join me in praying for economic recovery. The world desperately needs all of our prayers,...

The excerpt below is taken from Marianne Williamson's book, A Return to Love. It is one of the my favorite passages and I read it often as it serves as a constant reminder of what a blessing it is to...

As a money coach, I often ask my clients to reflect on what they believe would make them happy. Although their answers vary, they frequently say "I'd be happy if I were rich." Recently, it's become clear to me that...

Today's Money Coaching blog is for Connie who wrote in with the following money issues;"My name is Connie and I have a prayer need for myself and family. I recently lost my home of 15 years to foreclosure and if...

Earlier this week I wrote about Money & Spirituality and it ignited quite a conversation between my husband and I. My husband is a classic Creator-Artist, which in money coaching terms means he has a love-hate relationship with money and...

It seems that everyone is giving financial advice these days. Even Rev Run Wisdom, star of the reality show  "Runs House" is sharing his advice on Twitter. Rev Run, who is also a minister, does have some sweet pearls of...

Dear God,We pray and ask for your love, light and guidance over the financial affairs of all your children.Forgive us our financial shortcomings,strengthen our courage and convictions in becomingmore personally and financially aware, responsible and enlightened.Help us to know the...

One of our Beliefnet readers wrote in last week expressing her concern about the amount of money that today's spiritual leaders and Guru's seem to make today. Here's what she said: "I am a bit disillusioned by the apparent amount...

Today's Money Coaching blog is in response to Danny who wrote in with the following situation:"It's been just a couple of weeks since I was laid off but the pressure from my wife to do better is sometimes disheartening. I...