So I guess plenty of Beyond Blue readers are HSPs (Highly Sensitive Persons)! I loved some of the suggestions found on the posts ("Defining High Sensitivity," "The Good and Bad News About Being Highly Sensitive," "Six Strategies to Calm Yourself Down," "Perverted Elmo and the Gospel of Luke," and "Are You Highly Sensitive?") which addressed various aspects of being highly sensitive, (a concept I learned from Elaine Aron’s bestselling book, "The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You").
Here are some of the comments and suggestions from readers:
I first heard the term "highly sensitive person" a few years ago and it finally defined what I've experienced all my life. I remember even as a child over-reacting at the slightest strain or stress around me and not being able to filter out other people's emotions very easily.I find time with my pets to be a source of stress relief too, although I'd have to say that unless you're a true pet lover, caring for animals might be an added source of stress for a person.
I get frequent massages of various kinds as a way of gaining stress relief. I had to teach my husband to do it, though, because being touched too much by relative strangers can make me even more tense. This has become something we do for each other.
I've learned to avoid arguments about politics, religion, and social issues, too. Usually, people want what's best for everyone...they just argue about how to get it accomplished. When you think of it that way, it seems pointless to argue about such things.
But, I pray, practice relaxation exercises I learned from a psychologist, eat nutritiously and get enough exercise. All great for handling stress. --Gina
Find out what works best for you. Find your worse offenders: visual? noise? sugar? caffeine? stress? pain?Even though I'm partially deaf, loud voices (or base) can push me right over the edge.
Sugar and caffeine doesn't bother me, but overeating (even a little) does.I love water, but when I'm in pain a shower is too much stimulus; a tepid bath is much better.
My clothes are almost all cotton, and the tags must come out. My sleep shirts are worn inside out. I can't tolerate the seams on my shoulders. I wear strapless bras because the pain in one shoulder over a year after surgery won't tolerate anything else.
Odors that others claim not to smell can make me too nauseous to walk. --CJ
Thanks for great suggestions. I find that a stressful demanding job that takes everything out of me sometimes has taken its toll on me. At work, I find that retreating to my classroom, locking the door, and listening to music or watching videos for 30 minutes relaxes me.I want to suggest a couple more things to the ladies:
--Have lunch with a friend, paint your nails, (even its clear polish), give yourself a facial, and the ultimate luxury--go for a pedicure. My favorite is a mother and daughter day, when I take my only daughter out for a manicure, go to the mall and have lunch. It sounds superficial, but when you do something all day for others, then come home and care for your family, you deserve to do something for YOU. –-H.G.
Re-framing a mind picture of great joy brings a refreshing smile and release to my very pain filled life at this time. The mind picture of the face of my granddaughter sleeping, a "pile of playful puppies" all on top of their "big dog" mom, a soaring eagle--wings outspread, riding the wind. It is the thoughts we treasure that will see you through the "step back, take a breath and don't speak until you can think clearly" times. I have survived 64 years doing ...not very well sometimes but better as I practice what works for me. –Sherry RobertsI always thought I was malfunctioning when my ex-husband screamed at me and my mind couldn't function anymore and I couldn't think or speak, only sit and look pitiful. It has happened all my life in overly stressful situations. I'd just shut down. I always felt it but didn't understand it. Thank you for the article!
I would like to offer some help. These things help me daily:
1. Take a deep breath and think... “RELAX, RELAX” …over and over again. “This shouldn't bother me this much. It's just part of every day life. What's the big deal? What will happen if you get upset? It won't help.” It will just stress you more and make you sick. Stay calm and deal with it.
2. Don't take it personally. Look at the situation as if you don't care. It will help you to realize that you shouldn't be taking it so hard. You will always care, of course, but not to the point of making you crazy. Look at the big picture.
3. Sometimes you have to let go and things will work themselves out. You can only do so much. Sometimes when people see that you have let them go to make their own mistakes, they see your wisdom more clearly and listen better. Give them the tools, but you can't make them use them, short of imprisoning them. --Donna
Balance and moderation in all things works for me.
These are a few things that work for my personality: Running six times per week, light weights, centering prayer, volunteering in food pantry and local county prison, prayer together, getting outside in nature and outside of myself, being concerned for others' needs and listen, a week long or a long weekend at a monastery--Gethsemane is unique. And also remember we are each special and our gift is needed for the health of our community. --Mike
We all have the capacity and potential to get over the many hostile challenges and antagonistic situations in this life. Acting on impulse does not help. It is very important in life to seek time alone for psychological preparedness and refreshment. This enables me to handle issues of life with maturity and the inner strength. –-Makuwa Chiwisha-Zambia
Walking works the best for me--also cleaning! Cleaning is like a form of meditation for me demanding concentration and mindfulness.
My autistic daughter is going through some really difficult times right now with eczema outbreaks that seriously abort her usual joy in life. Not only do I have to find creative ways to deal with her behaviors, I am challenged to find "that place" to go to for myself. Getting respite care and going to a movie with friends helps a lot. Or meditation. Or taking her to the beach (we live 20 miles away from a great beach): putting her in her wheelchair (when she is concentrating on the pain and itch on her skin she does not like to walk), and strolling up and down the long strand of sidewalk by the ocean, with stops to rest and read, helps both of us to maintain our sanity. --Chana
Yeah this stuff sounds like it works-- I do some of them now. The other day, my cousin was asking me about why I would not chose Obama. She badgered me, told me this is why the family can't get along with me, why wouldn’t I go for a black candidate. I calmly closed my eyes and let it all bounce off of me. I continue my stance. She cursed me--could not see my reasoning. I kept calmly telling her that I loved her and politics will not control my feelings or contribute any more to arguing my point or making others happy. When she could not calm down, I promptly excused myself kindly from the conversation. She called back later to apologize, told me how she always wanted to be just like me, and she was watching a "Spike Lee" movie while drinking, and she got carried away. She thanked me for dealing with her like that and said she admired how I do not let others get to me the way they used to. I told her that I'm learning and it's all love. --Tarsha
Praying the "Prayer of Jabez" each morning and doing a bit of meditating are, for me, calming and give me strength for whatever the day may bring. We all have the right to ask God for what we need - he has given us this right to seek the best for ourselves. –Barb
To calm myself I would picture myself someplace very peaceful, for me it is the lake in the forest. --Renee'
I highly recommend water therapy any and every way you can get it--the more the better. It's an unbelievable force. –Nancy
I'm one of those people who tries to avoid "toxic" people--those who are constantly finding the negative in ANY situation. I either close off myself from the person (as I often do at work) or simply lose touch with them. I choose to be happy. I have a 3 ring binder with positive articles from women's magazines or from this website. They aren't organized, simply placed inside for those moments when things just don't seem right. I also take an inventory everyday of my "grateful moments" of the day. –Sherry
I totally agree with the healing magic of nature, and what the mother earth can do for us. I've just returned from a three-day, Native American vision quest, which involves spending three days out in nature by yourself praying and fasting. So therapeutic, so much garbage cleaned out of myself, I feel like I have a new lease on life! Thank you, Creator! –Robin
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Excellent article.
In the storm of life we struggle through myriads of stimuli of pressure, stress, and muti-problems that seek for a solution and answer. We are so suppressed by the routine of this every life style that most of us seem helpless. However, if we look closely to ancient techniques we shall discover the magnificent way to understand and realize the ones around us and mostly ourselves. If only we could stop for a moment and allow this to happen…
Let me bow to Indian Maharishi Patanjali with folded hands who helped in removing the impurities of the mind through his writings on Yoga, impurities of speech through his writings on grammar, and impurities of body through his writings on Ayurveda.
The American justice Dept. have recently approved the power of yoga and meditation vide a recent judgement in the American court." Man Who Slapped Wife Sentenced to Yoga, It's Anger Management, Says Judge." First there was house arrest. Now there's yoga. A judge ordered a man convicted of slapping his wife to take a yoga class as part of his one-year probation. "It's part of anger management," County Criminal Court at Law Judge Larry Standley said of the ancient Hindu philosophy of exercise and well-being. "For people who are into it, it really calms them down. " Standley, a former prosecutor, said the case of James Lee Cross was unique. Cross, a 53-year-old car salesman from Tomball, explained that his wife was struggling with a substance abuse problem and that he struck her on New Year's Eve during an argument about her drinking. "He was trying to get a hold of her because she has a problem," Standley said after the court hearing. "I thought this would help him realize that he only has control over himself." The sentence came as a surprise to Cross, who was told to enroll in a class and report back to Standley on his progress. "I'm not very familiar with it," Cross said of yoga. "From what I understand, it may help in a couple ways, not only as far as mentally settling, but maybe a little weight loss." Darla Magee, an instructor at Yoga Body Houston in River Oaks, said she would recommend that Cross take a basic yoga class emphasizing breathing and including a variety of postures -- forward bends, back bends and twists. "Yoga can help us to get rid of many emotional issues we might have," she said. "It's a spiritual cleanse." Prosecutor Lincoln Goodwin agreed to a sentence of probation without jail time because Cross had no significant criminal history http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/metropolitan/2365341.
Yoga which is one of the greatest Indian contribution to the world has got vast potential in all fields. In Tihar jail India Yoga is experimented among the inmates and found successful. Their criminal mentality is changed. This study aimed at investigating the effect of Vipassana Meditation (VM) on Quality of Life (QOL), Subjective Well-Being (SWB), and Criminal Propensity (CP) among inmates of Tihar Jail, Delhi. To this effect the following hypotheses were formulated. 1. There will be a significant positive effect of VM on the QOL of inmates of Tihar jail. 2. VM will have a positive and significant effect on SWB of inmates. 3. Criminal propensity (CP) of inmates will decrease significantly after attending the VM course. 4. There will be significant difference in SWB and CP of experimental (Vipassana) group and control (non-Vipassana) group. 5. Male and female inmates will differ significantly in SWB and CP, as a result of VM. In the famous "Time" magazine the importance meditation and yoga, an ancient Indian system, is high-lighted that the ancient mind- and spirit-enhancing art is becoming increasingly popular and gaining medical legitimacy. It is a multi billion dollar business in US. In many Universities it is accepted as subject and included in the Syllabus. In the latest famous book "Inspire! What Great Leaders Do" written by Mr.Lance Secretan recently published by John Wiley and sons, the benefit of meditation is elaborately described for good corporate governance. By practicing transcendental meditation, or TM, many people have got relief from back pain, neck pain, depression. The mind calms and quiets, . What thoughts you have during meditation become clearer, more focused. Anger, anxiety and worries give way to a peace. In the world exorbitant medical expenses one can definitely make use of meditation. Maharshi Mahesh Yogi and Sri Ravi Sankar are popularizing this. The Iyengar Yoga institute in US is famous.
In Bhagavad-Gita Gita Lord Krishna has inspired Arjuna to rise from his depression by preaching Gita in the battlefield and to rise from the depression to do his duties. In Holy Gita we can see, being hidden by the cosmic overview of any institution beset with myriad problems, not the least of which is its lack of moral probity, there is a groundswell of educated people seeking answers to deeply personal but universally asked questions. Chie Executives taking lessons from yoga, meditation and learning how to deal with human resources equations in an enlightened manner. Individuals from every walk of life can get ideas of how to be better human beings, more balanced and less stressed out.
Medical studies continue to show regular meditation working magic in reducing blood pressure and stress-related illnesses, including heart disease. Brain images show that regular meditation helps calm the most active sensory-assaulted parts of the brain. The ancient Hindu sage Patanjali who had mastered the secrets of the human mind has written a book "Yogasutra".In this book we can see how super powers can be achieved by meditation. It has both cosmic relevance and cosmic resonance. In spite of its universal appeal, for most people total control of mind remains an elusive goal and daunting task. From time immemorial, there have been many attempts throughout the world to unlock the mysteries of the mind and to achieve total control over it through a variety of techniques. One of the most powerful of these techniques is meditation.
Many spiritual leaders, sages, saints, and holy people such asSri. Buddha, Sri Ramakrishna, Madam Sarada Devi, and Swami Vivekananda have practiced this. One of the ways to control physiological reactions to psychological stimuli is meditation, Yoga, Zen Buddhism etc. The scientists take Transcendental Meditation (TM) as the uniform technique, and base their observations on the study of the subjects engaged in this form of meditation. In summing up the results the scientists have come to conclusion that the effect of meditation is a "wakeful, hypo-metabolic state". They have found that: 1) Yogis could slow both heart rate and rate of respiration, 2) Yogis could slow the rate of metabolism as confirmed by decreased oxygen consumption and carbon-die-oxide output. 3) Electro-Encephala-Gram (EEG - recording of brain activity) in Yogis showed changes of calmness in the form of "alpha rhythm" during both eyes closed and eyes open recordings. 4) Their skin resistance to electric stimulation was increased (indicating increased tolerance to external stimuli). Our usual 'defense-alarm' reaction to emotional and physical stress is in the form of "fright, flight, and fight" mediated through over-secretion of certain neuron-transmitters and neuron-modulators, namely adrenaline and dopamine by way of stimulation of sympathetic nervous system. Under the influence of these chemicals and hormones, we reflexively become panicky or aggressive, our blood pressure rises. Thus stress and anxiety is the end result if we allow our natural age-old sympathetic reactions to act and to come to surface. We try to run away, become fearful, or fight the situation. But today these 'defense-alarm' reactions have no place in our lives. Rather, they should be replaced by more calm and serene reactions of equanimity and fearlessness. The need is to just 'face the brute, and it will go away'. Such desirable reactions of non-aggression and peaceful attitude are generated by Y ga and meditation. EEG Studies on Yogis and The Zen Meditations: Yogis practicing Raja-Yoga claim that during the state of Samadhi they are oblivious to the internal and external stimuli, and they enjoy a calm ecstasy during that state. A study was undertaken to record the electrical activity of their brain during this state by means of a regular and useful test known as electroencephalography EEG. Physiological and experimental studies have demonstrated that the basis of conscious state of brain, among other things, is due to activation of "reticular system" in the brain-stem in response to internal and external stimuli. These stimuli bring about various changes during sleeping and wakeful states of the organism and these can be studied by EEG. The study was carried out on four subjects during the state of concentration and meditation. Effects of external stimuli, like a loud gong, strong light, thermal simulation, and vibrations were studied. The results were compiled and analyzed. It was observed that two Yogis could keep their hands immersed in extremely cold water for about 50 minutes (raised pain threshold). During the state of meditation, all of them showed persistent "alpha activity" in their EEG with increased amplitude wave pattern, both during 'eyes closed' and 'eyes open' recording. It was observed that these alpha activities could not be blocked by various sensory stimuli during meditation. It was also observed that those, who had well-marked "alpha activity" in their resting EEG showed greater aptitude and zeal for maintaining the practice of Yoga. Similar observations and results were obtained when EEGs were recorded in persons adept in Zen Meditative technique. Can we say that only those persons who exhibit such recording of "alpha wave rhythm" in their EEG are fit for Yoga? and be designated as right candidates for meditation and Yoga practices? (Such experiments are indeed very few and the number of yogis examined is also very small. Therefore, scientifically and statistically these observations have only a tentative importance. Further research is definitely called for, albeit it will have its own limitations.) It is said that in the unknown period of Lord Jesus Christ , He was under meditation.
Ref. Yoga magazines
Newsweek.com
New York times
Time magazine
great post!
I felt more calm using the suggestions in this article. I also get great relief by adding more produce to my diet. I found a great way to get more fruits and vegetables. It's better than grabbing a candy bar, soda or coffee and less expensive, too! www. Healthoholic . com
I understand there are many avenues this world offers that can stress each of us in an array of fashions. Bottom line is it effects us entirely...mind, body and soul.Recently, I had been driving a large flatbed truck and expressed to my boss (fro approx. 6 months) this truck was causing traumma to my knee and back. He (with 14 other trucks to offer) kept me in the truck till my knee overextended. Now I'm facing an Orthopedist to calm the results of my physical stress. Emotionally and physically...yea I'm stressed but I'm dealing.
GOOD ARTICLE. i MY SELF GET RID FROM ANXIETY ,DEPRESSION WITH VIPASSANA -- THANKS
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