Very funny Christian writer Matthew Paul Turner did a post this week on his blog, Jesus Needs New PR, in which he asks readers to finish the phrase, “You might be a Christian rock star if …”
His suggestions range from “.. if during the middle of massive applause you’ve ever taken a step back from the microphone and then pointed toward ceiling (Extra credit if you join in the applause!)” to “… if you’ve ever played at an event that had the word ‘Republican’ in its name (Extra credit if you sent out a press release!)”
Spot on, Matthew!
Let’s twist the joke around and ask: You might be a Christian music fan if …
OK, I’ll start!
You might be a Christian music fan if …
… your knowledge of Christian music is limited only to the 10 artists played on your local Christian radio station.
… you burned all of your Ray Boltz CDs when you heard he came out of the closet.
… you didn’t let your kids listen to the Jonas Brothers, until you found out they were Christians – but you did let your kids listen to David Archuleta, until you found out he was Mormon. [If you didn't get this one, here's an explanation of the joke.]
… you cried when the American Idol contestants sang “Shout To The Lord” on national television.
… you’ll go see Third Day play at a mega-church but won’t go see them at your local concert arena.
I thought of a few more:
… you’re still not over Amy Grant’s divorce.
… you’d never go see U2 in concert but you’ve been to a U2charist.
… you thought Third Day sold out when their tour was sponsored by Chevy.
… you preset all of your radio buttons to Christian stations before you leave your car with your mechanic.
OK, your turn! Fill in the blank. What are some of the Christian music stereotypes you’ve noticed?
Remember, it’s OK to laugh at ourselves once in a while. In fact, I think it’s the 11th commandment … Thou shalt not take thyselves too seriously … and honest, I’m poking fun at myself here, too (although I’ve never owned a Ray Boltz CD, but if I did I wouldn’t burn it). There’s a reason that outsiders look at Christian music and scratch their heads in puzzlement. We do weird, contradictory stuff sometimes.
And head over to Matthew Paul Turner’s blog. He’s funny and has a great take on the whole Christian community bubble.
RELATED POST
The Jonas Brothers/David Archuleta joke explained
posted December 3, 2008 at 4:08 pm
David is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. I believe the only person who could decide that wasn’t a
Christian Church would be Jesus Christ himself. David is a follower
of Jesus Christ and tries in every way to be like Him.
posted December 3, 2008 at 4:11 pm
..you try and convert your friends by comparing the bands to secular counterparts
posted December 3, 2008 at 4:14 pm
LOL, Jeff, that’s a good one!!
Joanne
host of the GS blog
posted December 3, 2008 at 4:17 pm
that’s a really good one, Jeff!
posted December 3, 2008 at 4:42 pm
“..you try and convert your friends by comparing the bands to secular counterparts”
This only works if your friends listen to commercial and boring music.
“Look! This Christian band sounds like Nickelback!”
Seriously, the original is bad enough. No one needs to hear the copycat version do a version of Shout to the Lord or Come.
posted December 3, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Gracie, that’s the JOKE! Get it??
Joanne
host of the GS blog
posted December 3, 2008 at 8:28 pm
I don’t like your snarky joke on David. I am a baptist and has been taught to not judge people by any means. It might be just a joke for you, but your joke could hurt certain people and misrepresent the entire Christian community.
“He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity”(Proverb 21:23).
posted December 3, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Good grief, Joseph, it’s not a joke about David, it’s a joke about hypocritical Christians … goes w/the Jonas Bros point … you know, parents who only let their kids listen to “Christian” music, no matter what it is, as long as it’s stamped with the properly approved Jesus-fish … get it? … ???
Joanne
host of the GS blog
posted December 3, 2008 at 11:08 pm
I didn’t like this article, well after reading it. There is an air of arogance, cynicism and paranoia. There is some insinuations of things that are outright improper, ridiculous and should not have been written for people to read. One reason why the world is not a better place is because of some writers who provoke people to engage in hatredness triggered by the mockery of their faiths and beliefs.
posted December 4, 2008 at 1:02 am
Mormons are Christians (as it says on Beliefnet or anywhere else). David Archuleta actually has stronger values and morals than lots of Christians. Unlike the Jonas Bros, you won’t see David Archuleta performing in his undershirt, straddling a fire exingtuisher onstage, posing in a bed, showing his belly, etc. David’s also very non-judgemental and is kind to everyone. So your example is funny if taken in that ironic context.
David’s a great kid. Buy your kids David’s CD for Christmas. Walmart deluxe version has a bonus track.
posted December 4, 2008 at 3:31 am
You should be ashamed of yourself, Joanne, for perpetuating these stereotypes. David is the most loving and moral celebrity I know. We should all aspire to live the Christian life that he leads. He is an excellent role model not only for our kids but for full-grown adults as well.
posted December 4, 2008 at 6:12 am
Violet – um … yes, that’s the irony. Irony. Joke.
Joanne
host of the GS blog
posted December 4, 2008 at 6:15 am
Mark, are you serious? Really? Do you not understand the concept of irony? I’M NOT MOCKING DAVID ARCHULETA. The joke is about hypocritical Christians.
I’m not even going to explain the joke again. Clearly the point either went right over your head or you’re just looking for a reason to argue.
Joanne
host of the GS blog
posted December 4, 2008 at 8:23 am
I thought everyone knew by now that Mormons ARE Christians. You’re just perpetuating an old myth. By the way, David Archuleta is one of the finest people on earth and I hope that his new-found fame never changes him.
posted December 4, 2008 at 8:51 am
Gayle, I’m beginning to wonder if Mormons understand the concept of irony.
Joanne
host of the GS blog
posted December 4, 2008 at 10:33 am
In case you need it, and clearly most of you do, here’s an explanation of the Jonas Brothers/David Archuleta joke:
http://blog.beliefnet.com/gospelsoundcheck/2008/12/you-might-be-a-christian-m.html
Joanne
host of the GS blog
posted December 11, 2008 at 10:40 am
I am a fan of good ole Southern Country Gospel Music. I’ve been playing the guitar for a Southern Country Gospel band for quite
some time now, and it is a true blessing to see souls saved at singings.